Welcome to Episode 34 of “Triggers and Spiritual Medicine” with your host, Laura Bonetzky Joseph, and our guest, Tina Hines.
In this episode, Tina will share her story of self-discovery and healing. From navigating life’s challenges to embracing self-love, Tina’s journey is sure to inspire and resonate with our listeners.
So, join us as Tina opens up about her experiences and shares three tips with invaluable wisdom for anyone seeking to cultivate a deeper sense of love and acceptance for themselves.
Let’s tune in together on this journey of healing energy!
About Tina,
Tina C. Hines, a fifth-generation empath, intuitive clairvoyant, medium, and healer. She holds certification as a life and international transformation coach, dedicating her life’s purpose to guiding emotionally wounded women on a transformative journey towards self-love, self-care, and self-worth.
With a wealth of experience, Tina has graced numerous podcasts and featured in esteemed media platforms including Good Morning America, The New York Times, The Tamron Hall Show, and Trenton Now. Her influence extends across continents, as she traverses the United States, Asia, Africa, and the Caribbean, hosting healing retreats that empower women to rediscover their own happiness. Tina’s distinctive approach has established her as an authority in transformational coaching. Her vision is
clear and profound: to embolden women to embrace unapologetic abundance, allowing them to craft the lives they truly desire. Before embarking on her journey as a certified life coach, Tina spent an impressive three decades in corporate America, serving as an executive assistant. This extensive background enriches her coaching
with a unique depth of insight and practical wisdom.
Currently, Tina resides in the vibrant city of Marrakech, Morocco, alongside her cherished son.
As a parent, there is no greater heartache than losing a child. What can sometimes be harder is feeling that loss over and over and over again, because your children are still alive, but the emotional torture of knowing they are living with a documented abuser and you are powerless, because the system is beyond broken, is unbearable.
Unfortunately, THIS is exactly what abusers are aiming for – to continue their patterns of abuse by using the system against their victims outspending them at the expense of the children.
This is NOT how a parent SHOWS love for their child. These children are just pawns for their abusers sick game. In the end, the children lose and our broken system that claims to protect victims of abuse, do not. In fact, it may be getting worse in light of a 2014 MA Supreme Court cases granting custody of the children to a documented abuser ignoring the best interest of the child statute. With a pending supreme court case currently being heard. Click here. THIS IS DANGEROUS.
This is not to mention how domestic violence in itself spikes during the holidays which can be a dangerous time for survivors.
My Motherly Grief
This holiday season will be the 13th holiday without my children.
I spent over $300k in legal fees defending myself against my abuser whose admitted ONLY mission was to destroy me AND erase any memory of me or my family in my children’s childhood memories. He won cuz he outspent me.
My children were nothing more than a commodity traded on Wall Street legally trafficked by way of family courts.
How can ANY judge NOT see this as a continuing pattern of an already documented history of abuse.
I had hope one day … one day … my children would be old enough to seek me out. I used to count the days to when my children were adults and they would come back to me. I used to have a motto I would say to myself, “As each day passes, I am one day closer”. Meaning, I was looking forward to the day my children were old enough to no longer be in control of their abusive father. It was a way of giving myself hope.
However, what I am now experiencing as each year passes, the grief gets unfortunately gets heavier. Each holiday I am finding to be more painful as two of my children are now over 18 years old with the ability to reach to me. Yet, they still do not want me in their life based on a forced absence and a brain washing technique called, gaslighting resulting in a phenomena called Stockholm Syndrome. This pains me deeply. They have NO concept of what I had to go through to keep them safe, protect them from harm, and fight for them over an exhausting 11 years straight until a judge prohibited me from fighting for them anymore.
It is sad how much our society
condones this type of abuse,
routinely sides with abusers,
victim shames
& we wonder why we have the escalation of gun violence happening in our country.
Our society tripled the damage just with my 3 children alone, never mind the 58,000 American children this happens to EVERY year.
Why do I do what I do?
I feel part of healing trauma is
Laura at Deer Valley Buddhist Retreat Center, San Diego, CA
facing this very dark harsh reality,
keep talking about it until someone listens,
stand in our truth against all odds,
when our children are legally trafficked from us, when we heal our energetic core, we also heal theirs on some level too
& somehow we make peace with it all.
The BEST revenge against any abuser is to THRIVE against all that was stolen from us.
So for those struggling right now with the loss of your children, know I feel you. I empathize with you. You’re NOT alone. We are in this together.
The BEST action is to support survivors in whatever way necessary. This means:
holding space for survivors
believing a victim of abuse
question the abuser NOT the victim
stop shaming survivors
assist in funding housing and job creations
assist in babysitting
volunteer at a shelter
donate to the cause – it take A LOT of money
become a good litigation family law attorney with a focus on domestic violence law and custody
walk the walk
model healthy behavior for your children and DO your own inner work so the cycle of generational abuse can finally end.
I see too many survivors STILL aligning with abusers. THIS must end if we are to change the abuse culture we live in today.
My pain is still here, but I choose to channel it into something that will break the cycle of abuse perpetrated against my children
One of my reasons for sharing my story, my healing path, my journey publicly is
Laura on Cape Cod, MA
NOT to gain sympathy,
but to shed light on an unrecognized epidemic in our society,
to bring voice to others lurking in the shadows silenced by abuse,
and to know no matter how dire, healing CAN HAPPEN.
Up to 80% of contested custody cases involving abuse award abusers and legally steal our children away from us as punishment for speaking out, saying “no more”, seeking safety, justice or all the above.
We can NOT let the abuser steal our life TOO. If we do, THEY win. The best we can do for our children, is SHOW what healing, recovery, and resiliency look like.
Our ability to THRIVE CAN happen.
Please don’t lose sight of the mission.
How will you use your pain? Loss? Grief?
Thank you for supporting my journey.
With appreciation, Laura
For more information about classes, click here and our events calendar, click here.
Hmmmmm do we have the luck of the Irish this month? Got spring fever yet? As I am typing this, the sun is shining, and the outdoor temperature is in the low 40’s as we prepare for a massive storm stretching most of the US kicking off the month of March. I always see storms as something significant in the spiritual path and something to view within all of us to help our souls growth.
There is soooooo much shifting, healing, revealing, and shaking up going on, and I do not anticipate that momentum slowing down any time soon.
Forget the Lamb. Hello Lion.
Right? Are you feeling this already? Holy cow. Or should I say holy lioness? Or is it the DRAGON masked as the lion?
This month, I edge closer to the 50 mark on the solar calendar and this is the time of year I check in deep with myself and where I am going, where do I find joy and what still need to be accomplished.
Over the next couple months, I will be doing LOTS of traveling for personal and professional development to attend a magical wedding, co-facilitate a men’s healing group in VT, and attend the Trauma Training Conference with Vander Kolk. Just to give a glimpse.
This month I feel will definitely push boundaries and push us out of our comfort zones forcing us to dig deeper before the thaw and emergence of the new plantings of spring.
Self-Love: A Journey
1 of 10 hearts stumbled upon a walk mid Feb 2019
Last week I wrote about an experience I had at the park with hearts on the 10 year anniversary of the divine sending me signs and learning to build a partnership with the divine to help guide me on my path.
You can read the post here, Self Love – A Journey With The Divine in Nature. I write these posts from the heart to share these journeys with you. As always, I would cherish your comments and feedback on the post and know if what I write resonates with you and helps guide you on YOUR path.
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Dragon and the Sun
Screen shot of video of sun activity 2/27/19
Many of you have been hearing me talk about dragon energy increasingly over the last few years and may have even attended an event I facilitated where we tapped into dragon energy. Well check this out… this is filed under #cantmakethisshitup.
I was watching a scientific video on the updates of solar activity and how it affects the sun dated 2/27, and while watching it, I saw a dragon in the coronal hole of the sun (or what I like to call the shadow side of the sun). Do you see it? Here is the screenshot I took.
I believe this is the same solar storm that spewed out a dragon northern light show that was circulating all over social media on the 28th.
So now we are in March … how lion … I feel like our the wounded unhealed part of our egos might get quite the challenge this month and it is important to remember to come from a place of soul and view what surfaces emotionally for you as a road map of what needs to be released, healed, or reevaluated.
Mercury Retrograde
With mercury going retrograde on March 6th, it will be a good time to re-evaluate, relax, rethink, redo, plan, prepare projects or situations. Now I am a Pisces, so what I know is that it is important to PAUSE and seek the lessons or pearl of wisdom that is being presented to you. You might find this challenging because we are a culture and a society that let’s our emotions control us vs guide us. Yes there is a difference.
Happy happy. What a glorious day it is here in New England, and what another whirlwind of a month February has turned out to be.
This heart rock I am holding was one of the many hearts I found while on the walk with the dogs last week just after the full moon.
This was the same walk with a picture I posted on social media last week with the green orb heart as pictured below. I will post more pictures from this day at the very end of this post.
Green heart orb under the rising full moon. Feb 2019
The Revelation
Fascinating as I stop and pause in reflection of my life …. The journey I have been on since 2005 has been extraordinary to say the least when I really think about all I have endured and overcome since then. It has been far from easy re-discovering myself and back to a fearless love state deeply rooted to my soul.
When things started to not only get more difficult for me after seeking protections from abuse, but escalated, and I didn’t know what to trust or who to trust or what to believe or not to believe, I stopped out of desperation as if it were my last breath of life. I asked the divine for a sign that I was on the right path and that the decision I was about to embark on at the time was for my highest and best during one of the darkest days in my life desperate to be free from constant onslaught of abuse.
That happened 10 years ago this month in 2009. What I have learned about myself since then is still a masterpiece in the works.
When I posed that question to the universe out loud asking for help, I said a prayer to acknowledge and release all fear and asked for a sign that I am on the right path. About an hour later, while driving over the Fore River Bridge, in Quincy, Massachusetts, I happened to see an angel in the sky.
Quincy, MA February 2009
Of course I took a picture. And that picture was not one angel, but two. However, with the naked eye I only saw one. To this day, I believe this was a divine sign from my aunt and grandmother who can also come in as one divine messenger too!
The quote came as a result of doing some picture collages for my children and this quote suddenly come to me in the form of a message from the divine to “stop, listen and observe for they will guide you”.
Understanding Love In Its Pure Form
There were many things I didn’t realize at the time when my journey began in 2005. I had to re-learn what love is in its pure form, and undo what we are conditioned to think or believe based on propaganda, societal and religious ideologies that tend to be patriarchal and sexualized in nature.
In order to understand what love is in its pure form, I had to first learn how to self-love again . This also means I had to understand that my desire to be “needed” or “validated” in order to feel loved was not love but my desperation for love from others. This was also a form of dependency which many of us confuse with love as well. We confuse doing for others or “martyrdom” as love and selfless, but at least to me and in my self discovery it is not.
What Love is NOT
Do I look in the mirror and focus on what’s wrong and focus on all the flaws?
Do I focus on why I can’t do something right?
Do I focus on comparing myself to another and loathe at what I am lacking?
Basically do we Gaslight the s*** out of ourselves or do we see the light that we are in its pure form and acknowledging all the perfect imperfections as divinely in order as it supposed to be?
How did we condition ourselves this way?
Who conditioned us with these beliefs?
We were not born this way. It is time to break the cycle and step into our power and embrace the love energies the Universe is giving us.
The Journey Into Self Love
I refer back to the angel sign from February 2009. Since I did not know who to trust or what, I went up to the spirit realm. Since then, I have developed a relationship with and a language with the divine, and every now and then when I am off track or when I ask for guidance, I am blessed with messages in the form of signs.
Last week, a part of me reverted to old beliefs and patterns, and each time I was redirected in the form of signs of hearts everywhere and on this walk, there were at least ten hearts. Some are pictured below.
Love is BIGGER than us and yet one of the strongest emotions we experience as human beings. We tend to put our defining moments and perceptions of love onto an experience with another.
In order to attract the love we seek in another, we must first have the greatest love affair with our self and through that vibration we attract that kind of lover and partner.
It’s been a journey into the discovery of love for sure. We forget that love is inherently FREE, yet many times we allow fear, judgement, and attempts to understand what it means distort the magic of it. However, I believe, we have yet to truly understand what is means in its pure form and in relation to self love, because we are conditioned that fulfillment resides in the magic of love with committed romantic relationship.
So what are we missing?
Over the years, I’ve learned love is pure and weightless that creates a chemical shift in our neurological system.
It is a force of nature pure and simple.
There are no conditions or expectations associated with love.
Love is about honoring what is and mastering presence. It is NOT euphoria that comes and goes like passion, seduction and infatuation where we tend to confuse with love.
Love is bigger than the self or human conditioning. It’s the light that radiates within you. It is interconnected to all life and to the collective consciousness.
It is not a commodity that can be traded on Wall Street or something that can be turned on or off like a light switch.
You can invite love in. You can surrender to love by releasing fear, practicing presence and living in a state of gratitude.
Love is the life force that resides within you. It is unconditional.
when we honor the divine within, we open the door to infinite possibilities.
I am grateful for the divine signs to remind of these facts when I fall off track myself.
What is love to YOU?
What has love taught you? Please share your thoughts and experiences with us.
How do you define love in your life?
In the meantime, I am here to help you. Don’t forget to pause, breathe and take a moment for yourself.
Please leave a comment below to let us know if this post inspired or helped you on your path.
With love and appreciation,
