The Dark Side of the Holidays From A Trauma Survivor


As a parent, there is no greater heartache than losing a child. What can sometimes be harder is feeling that loss over and over and over again, because your children are still alive, but the emotional torture of knowing they are living with a documented abuser and you are powerless, because the system is beyond broken, is unbearable.

Unfortunately, THIS is exactly what abusers are aiming for – to continue their patterns of abuse by using the system against their victims outspending them at the expense of the children.

This is NOT how a parent SHOWS love for their child. These children are just pawns for their abusers sick game. In the end, the children lose and our broken system that claims to protect victims of abuse, do not. In fact, it may be getting worse in light of a 2014 MA Supreme Court cases granting custody of the children to a documented abuser ignoring the best interest of the child statute. With a pending supreme court case currently being heard. Click here. THIS IS DANGEROUS.

This is not to mention how domestic violence in itself spikes during the holidays which can be a dangerous time for survivors.

My Motherly Grief

This holiday season will be the 13th holiday without my children.

I spent over $300k in legal fees defending myself against my abuser whose admitted ONLY mission was to destroy me AND erase any memory of me or my family in my children’s childhood memories. He won cuz he outspent me.

My children were nothing more than a commodity traded on Wall Street legally trafficked by way of family courts.

How can ANY judge NOT see this as a continuing pattern of an already documented history of abuse.

I had hope one day … one day … my children would be old enough to seek me out. I used to count the days to when my children were adults and they would come back to me. I used to have a motto I would say to myself, “As each day passes, I am one day closer”. Meaning, I was looking forward to the day my children were old enough to no longer be in control of their abusive father. It was a way of giving myself hope.

However, what I am now experiencing as each year passes, the grief gets unfortunately gets heavier. Each holiday I am finding to be more painful as two of my children are now over 18 years old with the ability to reach to me. Yet, they still do not want me in their life based on a forced absence and a brain washing technique called, gaslighting resulting in a phenomena called Stockholm Syndrome. This pains me deeply. They have NO concept of what I had to go through to keep them safe, protect them from harm, and fight for them over an exhausting 11 years straight until a judge prohibited me from fighting for them anymore.

It is sad how much our society

  • condones this type of abuse,
  • routinely sides with abusers,
  • victim shames
  • & we wonder why we have the escalation of gun violence happening in our country.

Our society tripled the damage just with my 3 children alone, never mind the 58,000 American children this happens to EVERY year.

Why do I do what I do?

I feel part of healing trauma is

Laura at Deer Valley Buddhist Retreat Center, San Diego, CA
  • facing this very dark harsh reality,
  • keep talking about it until someone listens,
  • stand in our truth against all odds,
  • when our children are legally trafficked from us, when we heal our energetic core, we also heal theirs on some level too
  • & somehow we make peace with it all.

The BEST revenge against any abuser is to THRIVE against all that was stolen from us.

So for those struggling right now with the loss of your children, know I feel you. I empathize with you. You’re NOT alone. We are in this together.

The BEST action is to support survivors in whatever way necessary. This means:

  • holding space for survivors
  • believing a victim of abuse
  • question the abuser NOT the victim
  • stop shaming survivors
  • assist in funding housing and job creations
  • assist in babysitting
  • volunteer at a shelter
  • donate to the cause – it take A LOT of money
  • become a good litigation family law attorney with a focus on domestic violence law and custody
  • walk the walk
  • model healthy behavior for your children and DO your own inner work so the cycle of generational abuse can finally end.

I see too many survivors STILL aligning with abusers. THIS must end if we are to change the abuse culture we live in today.

My pain is still here, but I choose to channel it into something that will break the cycle of abuse perpetrated against my children

One of my reasons for sharing my story, my healing path, my journey publicly is

Laura on Cape Cod, MA
  • NOT to gain sympathy,
  • but to shed light on an unrecognized epidemic in our society,
  • to bring voice to others lurking in the shadows silenced by abuse,
  • and to know no matter how dire, healing CAN HAPPEN.

Up to 80% of contested custody cases involving abuse award abusers and legally steal our children away from us as punishment for speaking out, saying “no more”, seeking safety, justice or all the above.

We can NOT let the abuser steal our life TOO. If we do, THEY win. The best we can do for our children, is SHOW what healing, recovery, and resiliency look like.

Our ability to THRIVE CAN happen.

Please don’t lose sight of the mission.

How will you use your pain? Loss? Grief?

Thank you for supporting my journey.

With appreciation,
Laura

For more information about classes, click here and our events calendar, click here.

To book a private session, click here.

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© 2015-2019 Laura Joseph. All Rights Reserved. This information is for general educational uses only. It may not apply to you and your specific medical needs. This information should not be used in place of a visit, call, consultation with or the advice of your physician or health care professional. Communicate promptly with your physician or other health care professional with any health-related questions or concerns. This article does not share the opinions of Healing With Spirit or its affiliates.  Be sure to follow specific instructions given to you by your physician or health care professional.

International Women’s Day: A Personal Journey


THE JOURNEY:

I am a badass dragon spiritual warrior goddess that burns away fear buried deep in my shadows, shields my human vessel from harm, stands strong in my truth and raw authentic power, and moves swiftly against those who victimize others.

Today, I am making “herstory” with some dragon magic in tow. I am no longer a victim of my past, but a badass. It’s taken me a VERY long time (decades) to get to this point. CPTSD and the fallout of trying to survive after abuse is NOT easy…far from it.

I’m going thru lots of growing pains right now & on the verge of a major breakthrough … the kind I’ve waited a lifetime for if not multiple lifetimes.

See me.

Feel me.

Hear me.

Bare witness to the transformation and magic of dragon in the depths of my soul.

AND so, I bless my junk … I bless all who caused me harm & I mourn all I lost. In doing so, I find the buried treasure residing within me all along … buried in my own shadows.  To read more on this bless your junk series, click here.

Today I celebrate ALL OF ME and all the brave courageous strong women before me.

I celebrate the wisdom of my ancestors breathing and pulsating in my veins.

I celebrate all the badass women and men who have guided me, supported me, journeyed with me, and mentored me throughout the years.
Thank you.

I am dragon.

I am the divine feminine.

I am the fire, water, air, and earth in the womb.

I am woman. 

I am ME.

Together we rise. Together we are unstoppable.

Happy International Women’s Day 3/8/19

With appreciation,
Laura

www.laurahealingwithspirit.com

Available for speaking opportunities, workshop fascilitations, events, and private sessions. Contact us here.

5 Reasons Why You Need To Bless Your Junk

This series “Today I Bless My Junk” has been quite the challenge for me. However, I feel if I am to convey a certain message, I choose to be raw, real and authentic seeing all of me with an unaltered video.

Here is part four in the series of “Today I Bless My Junk”. In this video I go into the “WHY” we need to bless our junk  especially during these intense energetic times as part of the today I bless my junk series.

We all have junk … Do we not?

We all have junk lurking in our shadows … in our closets … in the depths of our minds. We don’t know what to do with something and what do we do? We put it in the closet? Right? Then when our closet gets full, we gasp and avoid dealing with the closet. Sound familiar?

Why the #metoo and #timesup movements are important

 

Survivors of abuse who have once been silenced are now being heard in ways unprecedented. This is BIGGER than we know and could ever imagine and goes far beyond what has happened with abuse survivors. It transcends into race, culture, economics, religion, and more.

 

What does it mean to bless your junk?

To bless your junk means to take all the pain, hurt, trauma, betrayals, etc and transform it for wholeness, happiness, prosperity, and success.

According to the Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, a blessing is “a thing conducive to happiness or welfare”. A blessing endowed power for prosperity and success.

Foreword- Tigger Alert – Triggers can happened in sometimes the most unpredictable ways.  Be aware of what triggers you. If by any reason you find this video triggering. I encourage you to stop and pause a moment before you continue. 

In this video:

  • What is the junk?
  • The paradigm shift
  • Importance of the #metoo movement
  • What does it mean to bless your junk
  • 5 reasons why to bless your junk

Take a Class

Please join us March 31st for our next class on “Learn How To Bless Your Junk and Take Back Your Power Now” at a great low introductory rate. Please visit our calender event for details.

 

 

 


  Other Videos in the Video Series

For my other videos in the series of “Today I Bless My Junk #metoo

Question To Ponder

I ask for you to consider one question

Are you part of the solution to systemic abuse or are you part of the problem? The choice is yours and only yours to make.

Please go to my Vlog on Youtube for the following videos.

How Can You Help?

As always, please support my healing journey and my desire to help break the cycle of abuse through healing. There many ways you can do this.

Take action on the things I mention in this video series

  1. Share these videos
  2. Leave supportive comments and let me know what pearl you took away with you
  3. Let me know what you would like to see the next video to be on
  4. Book me for a speaking engagement. I speak on many topics. One of the most common is on healing trauma through holistic and spiritually based practices.
  5. As always, thank you for your support and being a part of my spiritual journey.
  6. Become an ally – Help me become a better speaker, communicator and video producer. Want to volunteer your services to help make that happen? Email me and let’s collaborate.

With love and appreciation,
Laura