Picture taken during the 2017 solar eclipse on Cape Cod by: Laura Joseph
I wrote this after a few days of sifting through pictures, deep reflections and meditation with osprey.
For some reason I felt a huge tug every time I looked at the photos I took of a few osprey while on Cape Cod during the 2017 solar eclipse. So I decided to let the messages flow at the end of my pen.
I hope you receive the magic and guidance of osprey as I did. Here is what came out as a result:
Today, I continue to spread my wings surrendering my fears.
Fear and anxiety begins to dissipate when I trust my wings will guide me to new heights.
All is well.
The osprey in me guides me to reclaim my power healing old emotional wounds surfaced and let the past traumas of abuse to strengthen me.
With the osprey, I am taught to trust in abilities and have the confidence to know I can achieve my goals.
With osprey, I gain clarity in my visions strengthened by the recent solar eclipse (I took this pic at the observatory while we witnessed the solar eclipse)
With osprey, I am keenly aware of the messages from the divine and listen for their divine guidance.
With osprey, I transform and transmute all that no longer serves me for my highest and best.
Laura at the San Diego Zoo (c) 2016 All Rights Reserved
As we close out the year, we can sit back and reflect on all the growth and changes we have made throughout the year. As difficult as the year has been for many, we are, nonetheless, still here for a reason. If you are reading this, you were meant to.
So right now we are at the completion of 2016, and with it our last period of mercury retrograde which so many people look at and dread. Everything is a matter on how you choose to react and perceive things. I choose to work with these energies for what they are intended for such as what I call the “re” effect like reflection, redoing, readjustment, relaxation, revamping, realignment, repairing, etc. I have personally been reflecting all month on where I was, where I am, what work I still have to do, and where I am going.
All year we have been met with some very exciting times for soul and human growth, combined with what may appear as extreme smack downs. No one ever said healing was a pleasant journey, but it is a worthwhile one that can lead to all of what your soul desires.
As a matter of fact, healing can down right be painful and exhausting giving glimpses of questioning life and our faith. However, somehow, we manage to push through the barriers and search for that rainbow at the end of the storm that just wreaked havoc in our lives. It is through our greatest adversities where we find the greatest gifts.
Just like the life of the caterpillar that transforms into the beautiful butterfly, the journey in the cocoon is quite ugly. Yet, the caterpillar still chooses to cocoon and continue onto the journey.
Can you relate to this at all so far? If you are unsure if this makes sense, let me elaborate through my personal experience and story and hope it helps give you some clarity.
The Northern Harrier Laura captured while visiting Cape Cod in August of 2016. (c) 2016 All Rights reserved.
MY STORY:
When this year began, I was excited about the path I was leading, but suddenly I was met with what my human self aka ego would perceive as extreme setbacks with the surprise of not only an ending, but severing of several very close relationships, one being with my children. This was extremely difficult for me and made me reevaluate, question, and at times beg for divine intervention to help me move past the crap that I had endured especially in regards to a previous abusive 10 year marriage that ended 10 years ago, but his abusive pursuits only stopped in the last 2 years.
It was hard, and many of my writings and public speeches discussed some these experiences not to air my stuff, but to help others who may be experiencing similar know they are not alone and what to do. As I continued to release, let go, continued my meditation and reiki practice, and work with my divine team, my faith was slowly being restored.
My experiences this past January were far from glorifying, but outright painful as I was forced to look at all the painful traumas in this life, generationally, and karmicly all at the same time. With all that I knew and all my training to date, I was not sure I would make it to be honest.
My physical body began to amplify some disturbing symptoms from:
Sleep issues
Extreme irregular menses
Extreme almost hemorrhagic uterine bleeding
Re-emergence of PTSD symptoms such as flashbacks, fear, worry, nightmares, and more.
Severe pelvic pain and lower back pain
Ringing in my ears
Weight gain
Severe anxiety
Severe fatigue
Vocal strains
Bizarre instances of choking
Fluttering in heart area
Periods of inability to move
These are just some of what I experienced to name a few. All of the doctors could not explain the cause of my symptoms. However, my divine team kept reassuring me that things will begin to improve by mid-June. I work both in the spiritual realm, but also the holistic health realm with a background in western healthcare. So when I go to a western medical doctor, I already have a clue as to the cause of my symptoms, being a combination of spiritual ascension symptoms as well as adrenal stress from years of PTSD fight or flight. However, my goal is to try to get my western medical teams to prove me wrong.
(c) 2016 Laura Healing With Spirit
So needless to say, as the months went on, I stayed on the path best I could as instructed by my divine team since my western medical team could not find a cause for any of my variety of symptoms. The only treatment was a hysterectomy and medications to mask the cause or numb the cause that they did not know was the issues. All my tests to that point have been negative.
By mid-May, my lower pelvic and back pain escalated as well as my bleeding where I bled heavily for over 30 days straight so much so I hemorrhaged a few days prior to me flying out for my continued Jikiden Reiki training. I sought out medical attention and had physical exam, blood work and ultrasound. All NORMAL.
The day after, my symptoms began to improve. That date was key and my spiritual guides reminded me of the significance because I began doubting that things would improve by mid-June. How could they if I am seemingly getting worse? That date in May was the anniversary of a very traumatic event. My physical body was trying to release it. It just needed my help emotionally, mentally and spiritually to help it do so.
I knew once I went out for my training program, things might get a little worse if I was right all along that this is a spiritual cleansing and karmic healing. And it did. So much so that my teacher instructed me to see a Tibetan doctor known for treating the Dali Lama. I did as requested. For the first time in years, a doctor confirmed my suspicions, but recommended additional dietary and herbal supplement changes on top on my routines.
So like everything else, things came in waves. With each wave, I did my best to do some introspection as to what is coming to the surface to be let go of. Some things have been easier to release than others. That is our human side, but especially the traumatized human side fearful of change despite what you already know.
My spiritual practice and personal life have been significantly improved. The quality of individuals of who I surround myself with have improved. Some of the things I have been working on for over 10-11years have finally manifested. So it appeared that I was finally at home stretch.
Cape Cod with Laura communing in nature 2016
Not
so
fast …
So just before the holiday, my small dog that I use as a therapy dog was attacked by a domestic dog. On top of this, I was hit with the massive cosmic energies that were bombarding the Earth plane since Thanksgiving which zapped me energetically as I was forced into slow motion for a few days. Again, the cosmic shifting forced me to address old stuff and strong emotions like anger that had risen for the first time in many many years. At the time I did not realize this, but later understood that if anger emerged, that was a very old emotion. This means I am closer than I realize to where I need to be.
In regards to the dog attack, the irony here is the night before we came in contact with a coyote, but no incidence. We have come in contact with a coyote by itself at least a dozen times and on 2 occasions with a pack, with no incidence in recent years. I have chosen to learn to live in harmony with these magical beings that some like to call vermin. I am not naïve as I take precautions when I am out especially at night. It starts with awareness and vigilance. I do not fear the coyote so it does not smell fear on me. I one time chased one with my dog in my arms just to let him know who’s the alpha dog around here.
So I was stunned that what appeared to be a nice domestic dog would just attack and rip my dog’s head open. However, then I remind myself the state of the cosmic energies and planetary alignment. So instead of getting mad or upset at that moment, I chose to reflect and even felt bad for the other dog as to what happened to it for it to feel the need to attack especially to attack a dog used as a therapy dog.
At one point, I was extremely emotional wondering if she would need surgery to repair a salivary gland as she began to make a turn for the worse the day after Christmas. That day I began a regimen of adding turmeric to her food, reiki, community prayers. Within two days, her wound is suddenly improved and no surgery required as of yet. So what is the lesson here this time? What is it that I am supposed to learn?
When I asked that question to my divine team as I was leaving the surgeons office, I heard “magic” and “miracles”. Sometimes these setbacks although can be very exhausting, labor intensive, and draining, forces you to stick to what you’ve learned and trained for all these years since you left your abuser finally in 2006. This was a validation of the power of holistic treatments and community prayer.
Now I filled you with all of the “what went wrong” scenarios. What went right? When I spoke about my challenges publicly, I occasionally spoke about the affects of the changing energies on the human body especially with those inflicted with trauma and how to deal with it.
The bald eagle Laura captured off of Parsons Beach in Maine in September 2016. (c) All Rights Reserved.
During my big event in January, I had countless people come up to me to tell me how inspired they are and I deepened their understandings in their own lives. Later, when I spoke about some of my own traumas and what I did holistically and spiritually to heal,I will never forget the young man who if I were to judge looked like he walked straight out of a gang. I was scared that day to talk about a subject matter of a trauma I never talked about before, but spirit kept insisting to do. So, I did. This young man approached me afterwards and told me he could not thank me enough. He just went to an AA meeting a few days prior and disclosed some of the traumas he endured for the first time and by witnessing my strength, gave him courage to stay clean and gave him hope.
I have countless emails, feedbacks, and more that I have received over the year from so many people, that it made what I was doing so worth while and reassuring that I was and am on the right path even when I doubted myself. By talking about my journey and sharing it, I was keeping it real. I was keeping it authentic.
Other amazing things happened in moments of the divine such as experiences with hawk, bald eagle, osprey, coyote, and more. The messages were profound and reassuring.
Lessons of 2016:
So for 2016, we close out a chapter that primarily focused on the previous 10 years. This year I was taught to have a little more faith and trust since it was stripped from me, and each of these events were difficult, but also reassuring that things are happening for a higher purpose. This is what I learned:
To take my power back from especially abusive, narcissistic, sociopathic individuals. And I did not do it the way the human logical brain would expect you to do it either. My explanation on that will come at another time.
Help from the divine does happen, and many times leave you signs to let you know they are there or as confirmations you are on the right track.
How well we partner with our soul.
How well we surrender and trust in the divine.
How well we let go of control of the things that are making us sick even if ego says not to let go, but the gut says yes.
How well we choose the right people who are in vibrational alignment with us not the ones we empathize so deeply for we end up sacrificing ourself so much it is harmful to us physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially.
How well we institute the RIGHT self-care practices that address the whole mind, body, and spirit.
To invest in our well-being for no other reason so we can shine our inner light brighter. This is not for superficial means for superficial instant gratification either.
How well we do not reach for a pill first or external fix for an internal problem that will only mask or create a band aid effect temporarily. Eventually, you will need to deal with your junk.
Learning to slow down a bit.
Learning to shut off the noise and propagandas shoved in our faces daily by those living in lower vibrations refusing to change or on a path driven by ego and greed.
How well we raise our vibrations in times of crisis.
How well we stay in vibrational alignment with our truth and purpose.
Wells, Maine where Laura liked to connect in nature and meditate. (c) 2016 Laura Healing With Spirit
So what is in for us in 2017?
I anticipate a rocky transition for some due to the cosmic climate. The year 2017 is a one year in numerology. What does that mean? Either you have been doing your work or not, that is up to you and your higher self. Next year is the year for new beginnings with a new cosmic cycle.
So you have a choice to write not only a new chapter in your book, but write a whole new book altogether. What do you choose? Are you going to write a new book or are you going to keep relooking and staying stuck in the last book you have read how many times?
I feel 2017 will focus us on two areas … our internal environment and spiritual development and the awakening of more truths combined with many external events we need to address and not bury our heads in the sand.
One of the signs Laura ususally receives from Spirit is hearts. Do you see the heart? This was taken in Maine (c) 2016 All Rights Reserved
I anticipate the energies to still feel like massive waves of various energies hitting us at various rates and intensities as we enter 2017 while we continue to have our physical bodies, emotional and mental bodies, and spiritual bodies adjust. These adjustments or recalibrations from my perspective are not only the cosmic vibrations to a higher dimension that is actually altering our very DNA structure, but affects how we balance the needs of the physical self with the needs of the spiritual self.
I feel it will take a few months depending on where you are at in your spiritual development to feel less rocky waves and a period of calmness. I feel the cosmic climate may also feel a little strange as we shift in between dimensional worlds depending on what sign you are and where you are at in your spiritual development. We may feel lapses in time, accelerations or time warps. Mood shifts or erratic behaviors may amplify and seem weird or out of the blue. As always, I say with preparation and awareness, you can shift your reactions and therefore, shift your results.
However, I caution, that the more your internal world is creating more peace and balance, you will be more awake than ever and certain truths if have not already been revealed, will continue to reveal themselves. When this happens it might not look pretty. Just like Keanu Reeves waking up in the film the Matrix, certain external “events” will need your call to action. I suggest you begin aligning yourself with an agenda to be a part of whether it be the homeless, “water is life” Dapl movement, human rights, affordable health, sustainable renewable energy, GMO, or the like as I feel these are all areas under attack that are asking you to choose your battle.
The peace you are developing within is also aligning you to a greater consciousness … and unity which is where the greatest power of all lies … Universal LOVE. It is from this place, you will become the greatest instrument of change.
There is NO greater power than the Universe itself. With that power you have ying/yang or in this case the power of love/fear. The next 10 years of the evolution of consciousness and how we all align will determine the fate of all humanity. Mother Earth has been asking for us to align with her. Many have heard her call. However, many also need to heed her warnings.
We can start today. On top of what I mentioned we can choose if we buy water from a company who aids in polluting our waters. We can choose to buy foods that are not the equivalent to eating arsenic making us ill. We can choose to shop and support your local farmer and retailer. We can choose to not put our monies in big banks that fund the destruction of our very resources that keep us alive and into smaller local banks or credit unions. We can choose to invest in energies that are better for our planet. We can choose to do random acts of kindness. We can choose to live in a more eco-friendly sustainable environment. Some of these take time, but at least it is a start.
The hawk feather Laura stumbled upon while on her meditative walk in Maine. (c) 2016 All Rights Reserved.
Miracles do happen to those who believe. Never forget that. See the hawk feather below? This is one of many signs Spirit gives me daily to guide me or to reassure me that I am on the right path.
It is important to keep the faith. Stay focused, and count our blessings not matter how difficult things may appear. New beginnings are just around the corner. It is time to spread your wings like the butterfly.
The Butterfly story
I heard this story about the butterfly and found it so profound, I want to share with you. I can not recall the source and will do my best to tell the story in hopes you find it equally as profound.
One day, this girl saw this caterpillar in her yard and she stopped for a moment to stare at it. She was neither disgusted nor in awe by this little creature. She was just curious as she watched it munch away on a leave of a plant in her yard. She thought she would help it by gathering more leaves to feed it. She got a little discouraged that it did not eat anything she had left for it. She was worried it was not eating enough.
On day she returned, and saw it was dangling from a branch, and did not know what to think. So for that day she left it alone. The next day she returned to check on her new caterpillar friend to see is struggling so hard inside this encasement, and it worried her so much. She ran home to tell her mother, but mom said not to bother.
The little girl was all frantic, and she was afraid for the little caterpillar and felt the need to save it somehow. So she found a knife and went back to check on her caterpillar friend once again, and it appeared to be violently struggling inside this encasement. Her pulse began to rise. Her breathing began to become rapid, and she began to panic. She thought to herself, that there must be something she can do to save the caterpillar.
So she did what she thought was the next best thing, she cut open the encasement to free her caterpillar from all the struggle. A very wet wing not fully developed fell out as well as what appeared to be a newly forming butterfly. The butterfly fell out and onto the ground. It attempted to move its very wet not fully formed wings, but could not.
The little girl wept, not knowing what to do. All she wanted was to help the little caterpillar so it did not have to be in pain or struggle so hard in that encasement. She thought what she was doing was trying to save it from its pains and struggles, but instead, the butterfly died as it was not fully developed and ready to fly.
Just like the caterpillar needed to make what may appear as a violent, painful struggle to become the caterpillar, so do our human souls.
It is time to complete the transformation and become the butterfly we were all meant to be. Are you ready?
The choice is yours to make. The Universe can keep giving you signs til you are blue in the face, but at the end of the day, it is you that must make the first step.
If we learn to surf these crazy energetic waves of change instead of fearing what wave will hit us next, we not only raise our vibration, but create the change and bring more joy.
There’s a Buddhist saying about mastering the art of calm in the middle of the storm. Together, we can make a better world. Here is our chance. The choice is yours to make.
WOW what a ride this week has been and since the election emotions have been quite high. I have my own feelings that have come to light this week and I will share them with you shortly. This is a very sensitive subject matter especially for trauma survivors, and my only request is that you read this with an open heart and without judgement.
I am also an empath, so I feel intensely the energies around me and of those people around me whether person to person or virtually. As I write this, I am choosing to honor my own feelings and I am choosing to honor yours as well.
Before I continue on my experiences after the election, let me share with you my experiences and thoughts on the day of the election and why I felt so paralyzed to vote. One of my trauma coping mechanisms is journaling. Here is what I wrote on the day of the election, November 8, 2016, and when I decided to publish it, I chose to keep it as is so you may experience my full experience.
Graphic by Laura Joseph, Healing With Spirit
“I never realized how triggering and paralyzing today’s election was until today when it was time to cast a vote. The governmental abuse, disregard and metaphorical rape of women and children, the narcissistic sociopathic behaviors of our two primary candidates, the disregard for life not to mention threats and intimidation brings back flash backs of the horrors I endured attempting to leave and to protect my children from abuse only to have them legally trafficked by way of family court, and the more I fought trying to grasp at any straw to save them and myself, the more I was threatened and retaliated against and even went to jail.
There is no worse feeling in the world than drowning in a sea of trauma, abuse, lies, and deceit begging for someone to reach out to pull me and my children out only to be met with the mighty oar pushing you back under hoping you just die.
Today’s election and everything it stands for and against, has paralyzed my ability to vote bridging past abuse with political rhetoric that merged as if it became one reality especially when the deepest darkest shadows of America is cracked wide open.
Some of you may say, get over it and move on.
After all, it’s been almost 11 yrs since you left your abuser. My head and mind already know that. However, It’s my physical body trapped in fight or flight in its attempt to shield me and protect me from further trauma and abuse screaming inside begging when will it end. When will peace reign on earth, and I no longer have to maintain a fight or flight state which has severely taxed my adrenal glands?
It is extremely difficult to engage in exercising my right to vote especially when reports of bullying, insults, and intimidation are becoming the norm. This weekend I realized I still do “avoidance” tactics which is part of trauma response. Today, I realized how bad I still do it.
The redtail hawk Laura saw on November 8, 2016
As I left my house this morning tearing myself apart for not practicing what I preached paralyzed in fear a redtail hawk swooped out of nowhere flying alongside my truck on Rockland Street until I hit the breaks and he flew to the top of the tree. i pulled over, exercised gratitude, and had a mini animal totem pow wow.The message I received was to take the pressure off myself and to focus on the long term picture not on the short term and to stop being so hard on myself. The hawk is showing me to trust and take flight. I may feel unsupported in the human realm, but to know I am supported in the divine realm. I guess in one aspect the avoidance has allowed me to heal and move forward, but in another aspect when confronted, it is paralyzing. God help America.”
Photo & Quote by Laura Joseph Healing With Spirit. All Rights Reserved
I had so much anxiety on the day of the election, it was overwhelming. I felt alone, as the trigger spiraled. I pulled every tool I knew to cope including meditation, reiki, journaling, crystal, vibrational healing via tibetan medicine singing bowls, walks and communing in nature, and non attachment.
When I saw the redtail hawk, I knew it was a sign. Signs from above have been very prominent for me in my healing journey since I had lost faith and trust in humanity. Connecting with the divine was my lifeline.
Redtail hawks have been a great message bearer for me over the years. They adapt to life well even amongst the human race and are a great service to humanity. The human race has drifted so far away from source, we miss the magic they offer. I was grateful for my divine team and angels for this message.
As I maintained a ping pong match of emotions that day, I decided to go for a walk and was greeted with three crows with a mourning dove perched just above. I smiled and moved forward, and my anxiety began to wane, but not enough to head to the polls and vote. You see for me it was not the idea of voting that was the trigger for me. It was the idea of dealing with something with what I perceived as a corrupt, abusive government and even though in my head, I knew not to fear, my body kept tying to trick me otherwise.
From a spiritual sense, crow is another very powerful message bearer, keeper of the universal sacred laws, and represent magic. They are the harbinger of change in all areas of life; physical, spiritual, mental and emotional. They can aid us in moving between realms of the spirit world and physical life. Crow was a wonderful reminder to create and manifest what I seek. The fact there were three, reminds me how divinely support I am and focuses my attention to my ability to communicate more effectively. Crow announces a newness on the horizon. Are you aware of the nuances in life? Are you listening to signs around you? Crow can give strength and show you how to maneuver in intuitions and insights.
When I saw the mourning dove above the crows, I smiled as it was the solidifier for me in the message. Traditionally, doves are a messenger of peace, love, joy and gentleness, prophecy of good things, maternity instincts, as well as an awakening to promise of future with clarity. In this case, dove was helping me understand my emotions better, and letting me know that hope and peace will come.
When I woke up on Wednesday, November 9, 2016, I was and was not shocked at the results. I was not shocked, because, I had predicted early spring of Hillary Clinton’s downfall. I however, was fearful of a Trump Presidency and was hoping for a different, maybe more Utopian result.
I have over come so much in my life. I have chosen to do my best to never judge those who voted a certain way because it is a constitutional right. I choose to not let those choices break up my “tribe”.
Although, I thought I was much further along in my healing, I am taking a pause. I am holding space and trying to not feed the fear. Instead, I am choosing to allow to feel these emotions. I am allowing to feel the fear. I am talking to the inner child within, who clearly is still wounded, and asking her what will it take to feel safe again so the fear can be released for good this time.
I am BEing mindful how I unleash my emotions on my friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, etc. We all have a choice. If we want change, we must go within first.
In the end we are all one. Fear begets more fear. Hate begets more hate. Only love can conquer hate and fear. Only love can create peace. The veil is thin right now. Many truths are being revealed. Our own shadows are surfacing. We’ve been feeling it rise like a cauldron of a volcano for quite a while.
All the answers we seek lie within. So please let’s pause and be mindful of our thoughts, words, posts, actions.
Here’s a quote I love that resonates, and I changed it to create action: “I surrender to what is. I let go of what was and I have faith in what will be.”
Today, I choose to step into the light and BE the beacon.
It’s time we get centered. Breathe … Bring back our power … breathe … feel compassion … breathe … And breath in Love … breathe … and breathe out fear.
Together let’s radiate love and let it transmute any misqualified energies.
Together, we not only help ourselves, but our brothers and sisters, our fellow struggling American, the rest of the world, Mother Earth etc.
I honor and appreciate each of you.
Let’s create the greatest most contagious virus of Love. Change begins with us. That change is internal.
Spiritual Medium, Public Speaker, and Teacher Usui Reiki Master Teacher Jikiden Reiki Shihan
To schedule a private reading, to book a private party, or speaking engagement, please visit www.laurahealingwithspirit.com Speaking Engagements – Fundraisers – Events – Classes – Services
What I will be writing about, I am unsure if this is directed to my personal path and journey or if you will find that it will resonate with you. I would love to hear from you and your feedback as it helps me help you. I would appreciate that deeply. So, when you think these spiritual storms we have been riding over the past few months and years have slowed down and we can breathe, we are faced with more storms as we continue to upgrade and change in order to be more in vibrational alignment with source energy and our soul purpose. Just as you think you can catch your breath, we begin September with more changes ahead with the start of the eclipse season and our third mercury retrograde this year. As I am writing this, I am wondering how many of us have surrendered to the Universal energies, let go of the past … karmic in past lives, hurts in this life, and generational karma. We are healing it all if we learn to step aside and allow our soul to guide us and light the way. This journey has not been easy especially those also healing some form of trauma. With all that I do and practice, I can attest to this struggle as our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies let go and realign. No one ever said healing was ever easy, but it is worth it. I began to write about my journey healing trauma associated with abuse. One thing I have learned with trauma and PTSD, it loves to reign you in and prevent the healing to commence and will attempt to trick your brain into old outdated patterns or more of the very same you are trying to leave behind you. These patterns of constant fight or flight are there for our safety and protection, but when in overload, it is like keeping your finger in an electrical socket and you can not see, feel, hear, anything else around you never mind inside the self.
Laura administering self healing in
a meditative state in nature in Maine
One of the things I have had to address and face is healing karmic cords with my abuser in this life and in previous lives. This is NOT easy by any stretch. However, each day I am stronger, and remind myself that I AM … FREE … from those karmic bonds that tied me for 20+ years of my life in this life as well as in previous lives. The trauma and PTSD side would like to keep replaying the same story thinking it is protecting me not recognizing my finger has already been removed from that electrical socket. It takes faith in the unknown and higher power and courage to remove your finger and begin healing. So for many, the Universe and our souls pushed our buttons hard this year to get us out of our comfort zones, challenged relationships, and forced us to face the things needing change so we may continue to evolve from the caterpillar to the emerging butterfly. For those who have experienced PTSD or some form of trauma, these have been magnified. My question for you to ask yourself is: “Were you open to change or resistant?”
When we can have the courage of trying to not control every aspect in our life and face our shadow self, we become awakened. We begin to embrace and nurture the inner child within allowing us to surrender the ego and the control that the trauma has in our life.
Laura administering Reiki to a silver
back gorilla at the San Diego Zoo 2016
In order to get there, we must look at the two greatest emotions that drive us. The themes of love and fear continue to the surface for review. I know for me this was a big one, because, my abuser kept me captive paralyzed in fear and stripping me my sense of self and gaslighted me to believe I was better off dead.
So relearning to trust in myself and know that I was worthy of love took many years of healing and lots of work. Slowly I regained my sense of self through self love and self compassion. What helped me initiate the process was my Spiritualist faith, reiki, and meditation practice.
If we are in a state of fear, how can we love? AND vice versa, if we are in a state of love, how can we fear? Learning the art of detachment from people, places, things and especially outcomes have also surfaced to allow for more soul growth. Whenever I see myself reliving fear or something I thought I healed or resolved or let go of from my past, I do the following:
I acknowledge its presence
I thank the Universe for bringing it to my attention so I may learn how to release this
I create intentions and call upon my spiritual team to assist me. Depending on the issue, this may be my ascended reiki masters to Archangel Michael to Saint Germaine. You can create your team to assist you and call upon them. They will not intervene unless you ask for their assistance.
I allow myself to receive love from the divine presence.
I practice one or a combination of the modalities I have been studying over the years. This may be a violent flame meditation, to tibetan singing bowls, to reiki, to a meditative walk in nature or the like.
I practice self love, self worth, self compassion, and self forgiveness.
I adopt the pace of nature understanding that my healing happens not when I try to control its outcome, but when I have done the work and my frequency and vibration are in alignment with my intentions.
Because of the trauma I endured, I did not trust people, organizations, or those in power who were supposed to uphold the law and protect me from abuse. So I built a relationship with the divine and nature. For those who follow me on Instagram or Facebook, see my posts of all the divine messages and confirmations from nature I receive almost daily and sometimes numerous times a day. It always brings a smile on my face.
When appropriate, I seek help from other holistic practitioners.
As transition, I have been hearing messages addressing the theme of “forgiveness” as additional themes over the past week or so. So along with fear and love, forgiveness also seems to be playing a role especially for those trying to reclaim their power.
Last week, I posted a general message card to my Instagram and Facebook page where I talked about forgiveness. I saw this message as confirmation to what I am writing about here and I smiled. When I pulled the card, my shoulders suddenly relaxed, and I felt a huge a sigh.
Forgiveness is significant. All the work we have done so far is to prepare us for the hardest task … forgiveness.
If you are holding onto the pain or trauma or hurt someone may have caused you, the misconception is that forgiveness lets that person off the hook while you suffer. It does not. What happened to you is now in the past. What we do to ourselves as a result of trauma, is we keep the traumatic event or series of traumatic events alive and well in the present … the now. I have been trying to understand why we do this to ourselves and why do we imprison ourselves with very few answers. I believe a shift in perception allows us to see that when all we are doing is creating a pattern of self-destruction and self-imprisonment, then we can then implement change.
What forgiveness does is free ourselves from the chains that bind us. This in turn allows our hearts to receive self-love. We can not truly love another until we have fully learned this. I see this to be so true more than ever before now.
I am envisioning many of you who have experienced what many would call such egregious atrocious and unforgivable acts saying things like, “Why on earth would I forgive?”. We must let go of the need to control and need to be right and stay in the familiar. Being right usually does not change the outcome except create a prison stealing our lives. All this does is tie us to the story of the past, poisoning our present, and stealing our future.
Learning to forgive frees us. Wow, right now as I re-read that statement, I am envisioning the mighty power of hawk with a strap to it’s talon caught up in a tree stealing its flight, it’s ability to thrive and survive and ability to soar to great heights. Then, finally the hawk is snapping the strap breaking free from the tangled mess in the tree and lifting it up letting go of those burdens where it can now soar the skies once again and not only survive, but thrive.
Learning to forgive is one of our greatest spiritual lessons to truly understand. We have had lots of lessons, and transformations this year. The hardest person to forgive, but the most important is “self”. The Universe is calling on us once again. We have been given signs whether you are attuned and seeing them or not is irrelevant. There are those who have been called to help those who can not see.
It’s time to forgive and write a new chapter.
Free yourself from the past, past hurts, past mistakes, past traumas or the like.
So for the coming month, the eclipse season and mercury retrograde will be what we choose to perceive it to be. This is a very transformative time, and we can use these energies to help us in our path if we learn to work with them versus fight them. For once, try to master riding these waves of change and see the world from a whole new perspective. We can not control the size, shape, and velocity of the waves that come ashore. So why do we try to control the waves of life? It is time we learned to ride the waves and have fun learning to surf. Wow, I what a shift right there. Wouldn’t you agree? Did you feel that? I wrote about this last month in my post “Understanding the Cosmic Shifts”.
And since I have been writing about trauma, this is a grand time, to let the Universe help you right here, right now, in removing any and all obstacles from our mind and body so we may live a healthier and happier life. By the way, health is another theme arising too. So take time to listen to what the body tells you as it speaks to you 24/7. It is up to us whether or not we are listening.
The future is a blank slate. This is an opportunity to truly break free from those chains that bind you.
Are you willing? Are you ready?
Yesterday I had a pretty deep conversation with a good friend of mine regarding the struggles to survive fleeing an abusive relationship where I lost my sense of self for over 20yrs. This in depth conversation brought to the surface certain pains and traumas from the abuses the victim part of myself would assume to forget.
However, in reflecting about this conversation and previous ones, it got me thinking about my path on where I was, where I am, and where I am going. I look back now through a different lens amazed how far I have come since I made that crucial decision to leave an abusive partner who displayed narcissist sociopathic tendencies that nearly killed me more than once. I am happy to say, his wish was not granted, and not literally buried six feet under.
The Healing Journey
I am still here to not only talk about it, but to share bits and pieces of my healing path to reclaiming my power back in hopes to inspire others on their healing journey.
Probably one of the decisions I made early on was to never doubt my gut or intuition again as it tried to warn me of the dangers that lay ahead at that time. One of the things that saved my life was my connection to spirit followed by the healing path.
I first had to learn how to trust again and have faith in the unknown which is not simple feat when dealing with the after effects of abuse especially “gaslighting”. I had been beaten down physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. So how do I learn to trust again so I can heal?
How Reiki Helped Me
By embracing Reiki in its full embodiment not only helped me regain sense of self, but my sense of purpose. It helped me to heal the past while staying present, and not let my triggers of the past cause worry or fear of the unknown. It was not easy and I still feel I am a work in progress learning, healing, and growing every day.
This process didn’t happen over night, but over the course of 11 years. I had to learn to surrender to the Universe, which is probably the most difficult task in the entire process. The mind/ego wants to shield and protect you from any repeats of what had happened to you in your past. It is like an loop constantly repeating itself that has to be broken in order to heal and move forward in your life.
I knew I could not trust the system, domestic abuse groups, family, community, and the like as the mighty power of a skillful abuser can sway anyone in their favor creating an avalanche of being re-victimized. So if I could not trust people, who could I trust? Well it was spirit after all that tried to save me from this fate and I ignored the signs. So I went back to my faith knowing I could trust Spirit. That started the surrendering process leading into my healing.
I started with meditation and started going to church again rediscovering myself in the process. The more I learned to trust in the divine, the more healing took place in my life, which led me down the reiki path. Receiving reiki and learning reiki was the single most best decision I made for myself as it not only changed my life, it saved my life.
However, what I have learned over the years in studying the various different forms of Reiki, is it is not learned in one day as some may believe. I have been learning Reiki now for 11 years and I practice Reiki daily embodying all that Reiki has to offer.
You can not learn that after one class and receive your certificate. You must master Reiki completely and incorporate it into your life so you can BE REIKI. This process takes years of discipline to develop.
What I wrote in the picture are truly five things you can start to do today that over time will change your life. They stem from the teachings I learned in reiki so I know this to be true. I personally say these in Japanese as a mantra every morning when I wake and every evening when I prepare for sleep. By chanting these precepts, you begin to change the way you see yourself and the world around you.
Moving Forward
This year is the grand year of transformation, a nine year in numerology. It is the year of completion, and I personally look forward to fully and unequivocally shining in my own light at full strength once again. I wrote about the importance of this year in 6 Tips To Guide You Towards Soul-fillment in 2016 if you wish to read more on that topic.
Reiki is more than taking a one day class, receiving a certificate, and laying hands on someone. I think this is the greatest travesty of misconception of what our Western society believes is important. Reiki is so much more. It is a way of being and a way to self discovery back to soul. Our bodies are designed to heal themselves, so all we have to do is tap into that source energy. Reiki helps facilitate that. I have been practicing Reiki over a decade now, and even after all this time, I feel like I have so much to still discover about the magic Reiki offers all of us inside and out.
Healing trauma is not easy, but I am so grateful for the system of Reiki and all the teachers I have had along the way to guide me in my spiritual path to healing and self discovery.
For those who are struggling now or feel like you can’t see above water, please keep the faith. I remember days, where I felt like it was the end, and I am not only here, but I am beginning to thrive. You can too. I am here to help you best I can and so are so many other wonderful reiki healers.
Tips on Finding a Qualified Practitioner
If you struggle with healing from trauma associated with abuse, here are some tips in choosing a reiki practitioner.
Make sure you find a qualified practitioner who has trauma informed care as part of their training.
Make sure you find a practitioner who has been practicing Reiki for a long time as trauma has its own intricate needs.
Ask questions about the Reiki practitioner’s training and belief system
What system of reiki did they study?
What was included in their studies?
What level of Reiki have they completed?
How long have they been practicing Reiki?
Do they practice reiki every day? (My apologies as many reiki practitioners may disagree, I feel THIS is the most important question). If they are not practicing reiki every day, how can they possibly understand how to help you? This goes beyond just reiki, but understanding trauma and all its intricate components.
What is their level of experience and training in working with people with trauma?
How many clients have they used Reiki for healing trauma?
Ask how they use Reiki in healing trauma.
This is just a simple guide, but you can also check out the article I wrote on Reiki Can Do No Harm or Can It? for more tips and guidance.
I hope what I wrote helps someone out there in need who needs something to help them survive in order to thrive. Please share the love and compassion.
The Back St
