The Grief Journey After Losing A Pet

Who is a part of the family and our lives.


The other day I stumbled upon THIS image on the ground and wanted to share.

Here is my #cantmakethisshitup moment. 

My story on grief …

DO YOU SEE THE DOG WITH WINGS?

Do you see the dog with wings?

I know many of you have been inquiring how I am doing since Ava’s passing.

I am holding my own. I am aware & paying attention to HOW I am grieving. I am noticing the following:

♡ I still have trust issues when allowing myself to be vulnerable in the presence of others. I recognize my body’s trigger fight/flight/freeze response in the presence of genuine kindness. I am working on this.

♡ I tend to do most of my grieving & processing alone as a result.

♡ I am busy with my work as well as initiating the creation of JRA of MA (Jikiden Reiki Association of MA)

♡ I sleep with Ava’s ashes next to me every night when at my house. Weird huh?

♡ I wake up every day and sometimes in the middle of the night looking for my girl laying on her usual spot on my bed.

♡ I wake up daily still feel like I gotta take her for her walks, give her reiki, administer her fish oils & CBD oil & the like.

♡ I see my clients in my office looking to see where Ava is.

☆☆☆ These are all brief episodes btw. They do NOT linger nor do they fester.☆☆☆

♡ I leave my office wondering where Ava is so I can take her home & take care of her needs.

♡ I am rebelling going for walks in nature feeling like I am missing my partner. It’s just not the same.

HOWEVER …

♡ My grieving process actually began exactly 3yrs ago when I thought I was going to lose Ava after almost dying from a rabies vaccine. It took 9mo of reiki, diet changes, addition of supplements, increased bathing for her to recover about 80%.

♡ I am grateful for the work I get to do every day, because the weight & way I process grief is so different than before I understood the spiritual world the way I do now.

♡ I am grateful for the self care tools I have learned over the years to give pause, process, cope, be aware, process, allow, process, surrender, trust in the divine flow of things.

♡ Finally, she gives me #signs regularly to let me know she’s near & keeps bringing me back on track.

For that I am grateful.

I am grateful for the outpouring cards, gifts, calls, messages etc.

I am recognizing that I STILL have issues surrounding my ability to receive openly without fear.

I guess another gift my baby girl gave me to work on myself on my “14/5” year and “4” year collectively in numerology.

She’s taught me so much over 14.5 years and continues to teach me.

Ava is part of my soul family. I was lucky to have her 2x in this life.

I was her caretaker in the end.

And in the end many caretakers of loved ones experience not only a loss of a loved one, but a loss of a “job” or routine to care for another.

All I ask is this … for those who know others as caretakers, when they suffer a loss, BE there. Cuz sometimes, there’s a double whammy & some times we don’t have the ability to put into words what we are experiencing.

The ability to hold space for another is such an amazingly great gift.

Thank you all for reading and allowing me to share my grieving process with you all.

With much appreciation,
🙏
Laura

#MyAva #healingwithspirit


© 2015-2020 Laura Joseph. All Rights Reserved. This information is for general educational uses only. It may not apply to you and your specific medical needs. This information should not be used in place of a visit, call, consultation with or the advice of your physician or health care professional. Communicate promptly with your physician or other health care professional with any health-related questions or concerns. This article does not share the opinions of Healing With Spirit or its affiliates.  Be sure to follow specific instructions given to you by your physician or health care professional.

The Dark Side of the Holidays From A Trauma Survivor


As a parent, there is no greater heartache than losing a child. What can sometimes be harder is feeling that loss over and over and over again, because your children are still alive, but the emotional torture of knowing they are living with a documented abuser and you are powerless, because the system is beyond broken, is unbearable.

Unfortunately, THIS is exactly what abusers are aiming for – to continue their patterns of abuse by using the system against their victims outspending them at the expense of the children.

This is NOT how a parent SHOWS love for their child. These children are just pawns for their abusers sick game. In the end, the children lose and our broken system that claims to protect victims of abuse, do not. In fact, it may be getting worse in light of a 2014 MA Supreme Court cases granting custody of the children to a documented abuser ignoring the best interest of the child statute. With a pending supreme court case currently being heard. Click here. THIS IS DANGEROUS.

This is not to mention how domestic violence in itself spikes during the holidays which can be a dangerous time for survivors.

My Motherly Grief

This holiday season will be the 13th holiday without my children.

I spent over $300k in legal fees defending myself against my abuser whose admitted ONLY mission was to destroy me AND erase any memory of me or my family in my children’s childhood memories. He won cuz he outspent me.

My children were nothing more than a commodity traded on Wall Street legally trafficked by way of family courts.

How can ANY judge NOT see this as a continuing pattern of an already documented history of abuse.

I had hope one day … one day … my children would be old enough to seek me out. I used to count the days to when my children were adults and they would come back to me. I used to have a motto I would say to myself, “As each day passes, I am one day closer”. Meaning, I was looking forward to the day my children were old enough to no longer be in control of their abusive father. It was a way of giving myself hope.

However, what I am now experiencing as each year passes, the grief gets unfortunately gets heavier. Each holiday I am finding to be more painful as two of my children are now over 18 years old with the ability to reach to me. Yet, they still do not want me in their life based on a forced absence and a brain washing technique called, gaslighting resulting in a phenomena called Stockholm Syndrome. This pains me deeply. They have NO concept of what I had to go through to keep them safe, protect them from harm, and fight for them over an exhausting 11 years straight until a judge prohibited me from fighting for them anymore.

It is sad how much our society

  • condones this type of abuse,
  • routinely sides with abusers,
  • victim shames
  • & we wonder why we have the escalation of gun violence happening in our country.

Our society tripled the damage just with my 3 children alone, never mind the 58,000 American children this happens to EVERY year.

Why do I do what I do?

I feel part of healing trauma is

Laura at Deer Valley Buddhist Retreat Center, San Diego, CA
  • facing this very dark harsh reality,
  • keep talking about it until someone listens,
  • stand in our truth against all odds,
  • when our children are legally trafficked from us, when we heal our energetic core, we also heal theirs on some level too
  • & somehow we make peace with it all.

The BEST revenge against any abuser is to THRIVE against all that was stolen from us.

So for those struggling right now with the loss of your children, know I feel you. I empathize with you. You’re NOT alone. We are in this together.

The BEST action is to support survivors in whatever way necessary. This means:

  • holding space for survivors
  • believing a victim of abuse
  • question the abuser NOT the victim
  • stop shaming survivors
  • assist in funding housing and job creations
  • assist in babysitting
  • volunteer at a shelter
  • donate to the cause – it take A LOT of money
  • become a good litigation family law attorney with a focus on domestic violence law and custody
  • walk the walk
  • model healthy behavior for your children and DO your own inner work so the cycle of generational abuse can finally end.

I see too many survivors STILL aligning with abusers. THIS must end if we are to change the abuse culture we live in today.

My pain is still here, but I choose to channel it into something that will break the cycle of abuse perpetrated against my children

One of my reasons for sharing my story, my healing path, my journey publicly is

Laura on Cape Cod, MA
  • NOT to gain sympathy,
  • but to shed light on an unrecognized epidemic in our society,
  • to bring voice to others lurking in the shadows silenced by abuse,
  • and to know no matter how dire, healing CAN HAPPEN.

Up to 80% of contested custody cases involving abuse award abusers and legally steal our children away from us as punishment for speaking out, saying “no more”, seeking safety, justice or all the above.

We can NOT let the abuser steal our life TOO. If we do, THEY win. The best we can do for our children, is SHOW what healing, recovery, and resiliency look like.

Our ability to THRIVE CAN happen.

Please don’t lose sight of the mission.

How will you use your pain? Loss? Grief?

Thank you for supporting my journey.

With appreciation,
Laura

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© 2015-2019 Laura Joseph. All Rights Reserved. This information is for general educational uses only. It may not apply to you and your specific medical needs. This information should not be used in place of a visit, call, consultation with or the advice of your physician or health care professional. Communicate promptly with your physician or other health care professional with any health-related questions or concerns. This article does not share the opinions of Healing With Spirit or its affiliates.  Be sure to follow specific instructions given to you by your physician or health care professional.