TSM Episode 22: Sexy But Psycho: How the Patriarchy Uses Their Trauma Against Them

Welcome to Episode 22 of Triggers and Spiritual Medicine podcast with host, Laura Bonetzky-Joseph. Join us for amazing podcast episode on the topic of “Sexy But Psycho: How the Patriarchy Uses Their Trauma Against Them” with the incredibly powerful, Dr. Jessica Taylor.

Honestly after interviewing Dr. Jess, I’ve never met someone so akin to my life’s work and what my soul came here to accomplish here as a human.

For those who do not know Dr. Jess … I can’t highly recommend her and her work enough. This episode is life changing.  I rarely rarely rarely endorse anyone for good reasons. So when I do, there’s a good reason and I’d stake my reputation on it.

This talk is deep, direct, and powerful while addressing the elephant in the room, and offering 3 actionable steps folks can do today.

About Dr Jessica Taylor

Dr. Jess Taylor is a leading expert Forensic psychologist who has worked extensively with PD in SA, DV, CSA and sex trafficking cases in the UK.

She is also the Director of Victim Focus, and has authored multiple international best-selling books including:

  • “Why Women Are Blamed For Everything”
  • “Sexy But Psycho: How the Patriarchy Uses Women’s Trauma Against Them”
  • and her latest “The Trauma Impact Manual”.

She has made appearances on British television, including BBC Two documentary “Womanhood”, and in the true crime documentary “My Lover, My Killer”.

Whilst completing her undergraduate degree, she had written to professors and academics to submit her ideas and research proposals on the psychology of victim blaming of women and girls. Academics at University of Birmingham accepted her preliminary literature reviews and research proposals and offered Jessica an opportunity to study a PhD beginning in October 2015, at the age of 25.

During the PhD, Jessica explored emerging perspectives and critical approaches to understanding victim blaming. She also studied advanced psychometric theory and created the BOWSVA Scale (a validated psychometric which has the ability to measure victim blaming attitudes of women subjected to sexual violence and abuse).

It was this specialism which led Jessica to become publicly critical of psychometrics and screening tools being used with teenage girls subjected to sex trafficking and exploitation. In 2016, wrote several articles and speeches about the oppressive use of screening tools and measurements which led to widespread anger and backlash from leading services, academics and authorities. The organization Jessica worked for in senior management was targeted and told to stop her from criticizing the tools. It was this which led her to resign from a position she loved, as she didn’t want to draw negative attention to a charity she was committed to.

Jessica had a vision for an independent organization that could challenge, change and influence millions of people to understand that victim blaming, misogyny and pathologization was embedded into every system in the world, and so in April 2017, she launched VictimFocus.

In September 2018, Jessica was awarded a Fellowship of the Royal Society of Arts for her outstanding contribution to psychology and feminism.

In April 2020, Jessica released ‘Why Women Are Blamed For Everything’ in paperback by self-publishing via Lulu. With no publisher, agent or publicist, the book caused an international conversation and celebrity endorsements resulting in 10,000 copies sold in the first six weeks. With no distribution centre or logistical support, Jessica, Jaimi and Jaimi’s mum, Mandy, fulfilled tens of thousands of international orders from their dining room during the first part of COVID-19 Lockdown.

In March 2022, ‘Sexy But Psycho’ was released and went straight to Sunday Times Best Seller, entering at #5 in the national non-fiction book chart.



Real talk. Let’s address the elephant in the room to the growing “sickness” in our society, address root issues and provide sustainable solutions.

We hope by addressing the intersectionality and connect the dots like a web of many of society’s challenges, we can help others understand the trauma infection that impacts all areas of life – addiction, domestic violence, racism, homelessness, sexual abuse, chronic health issues, cancer, environmental issues, climate change and more. In this collaborative program, we hope to share a new perspective of solutions, healing, and resolutions.

Each episode addresses a certain trigger while offering the spiritual medicine with at least 3 tips or actionable steps our listeners can take and implement.

Please consider becoming a Patreon supporter to support our social justice initiatives https://www.patreon.com/HealingWithSpirit

Learn more about us, links to other podcasts, our books out on Amazon, social media outlets and more – Laura Healing With Spirit | Twitter, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree

Book Launch Party & Soft Opening of NEW Space

After 20 years since Laura embarked on this journey and 10 years writing, it is finally happening. The 2nd book in 2022 (her 1st book) and her first solo book, will be released on 10/10/22.

This book takes a real honest look at how we address and heal the growing chronic illness and trauma rates through the eyes of a domestic violence and sexual assault survivor, Reiki teacher, wellness professional, and advocate with over 20yrs experience working in a medical environment & legislative policy.

Laura weaves her personal story, work, training, and social justice work in this must have book.

I assure you … there is no book on the market like it that addresses the root issues and solutions like she does through this lens.

This book also includes a special insert on Shintoism by our dear friend, Reiki teacher, mentor, and Vice Representative of the Jikiden Reiki Institute, Kyoto, Japan, Frank Arjava Petter.


The cost to attend is solely for the purchase of the book.

Every attendee registered will receive an autographed copy of “The Secrets to Healing: An Invitation to Healing Trauma and Other Root Causes of Chronic Illness Using the Japanese Reiki Gokai”

NOTE: If you have already purchased your book and would like to attend, please reach out via text message 857-880-0365 with a photo of you holding the book or receipt of purchase, and if tickets are still available, we will grant you a ticket at no extra cost – unless you wish to purchase an extra book as a gift.

Again, the purchase of a ticket for this event is for the book.

Light refreshments served.

Plus, we will be offering raffles prizes and gifts throughout the event.

This is a ticketed event due to space limitations & advanced book orders.

Due to immense interest in this event and book, we advise to purchase your tickets early to ensure you do not miss out.

We will also have limited copies of our first co-authored book, “Feisty: Dangerously Amazing Women Using Their Voices to Make An Impact” available for purchase as well.

To learn more about these books, services, podcast, social media and more, click here

Get Your Tickets Here

Feisty Interview With Red Thread Publishing

I am so grateful to have been interviewed on the Red Thread Publishing podcast with Sierra Mulcher talking about the writing process for Feisty, the challenges I had, what it means to me and my chapter on a topic many folks do not know happens to victims of domestic violence with faced with family court.

My chapter is titled:  #MeTooFamilyCourts – Sometimes, the Truth is Stranger Than Fiction.

This is a short interview.

Click below to watch or listen in for this little gem of an interview.

Author Book Signing & FREE Workshop w/ Mal Duane

Join us for an afternoon with Mal Duane for a book signing of her new book “Broken Open”  including a FREE Workshop on the “Gateways to Unconditional Love and Forgiveness”.

I am sooooo excited and thrilled to have this incredibly beautiful human being come for this amazingly rare event and opportunity. If you have ever met Mal, she is as genuine as they come. I hope you join us for this rare opportunity.

RSVP Required.  RSVP via Eventbrite. Click Here.


Book Summary:


The wounds we take in the battles of love are the most profound tools for healing we will ever receive.

This book is about being broken open―about having your heart shattered, cracked open to its core. But although betrayal may have caused your wound, this book isn’t about learning to live with those old stories. It’s about letting the light stream in through the cracks in your heart, rewriting your personal love story, and looking within for the love you crave.

Your heart may be shattered, but it’s still beating. You can let your pain drown you, or you can choose to awaken to the life ahead of you―a life full of purpose, happiness, freedom, and endless love.

On these pages, you will find the keys to the healing you desire, so you can wear your broken heart as a badge of courage, and finally live, and love, as a whole woman.

Order your copy today at http://www.brokenopen-book.com and receive over 40 transformational gifts.

About The Author:

Through her own experiences of addiction and depression, Mal Duane has transformed her life and recreated herself as an awakened and highly successful business woman. Now, she helps women through mid-life transitions to heal their broken hearts, reclaim their lives and build success where they never thought possible. A best-selling author, inspirational speaker, and coach, she has been featured on Fox News, CBS Radio, and over 250 internet radio shows, and is a contributor to Huffington Post, MariaShriver.com, Healthy Living, and Aspire Magazine. All her books, coaching and speaking are designed to inspire and elevate those souls who feel unloved and unworthy.