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Facing the Shadows & Healing During COVID19

This is an invitation to hope, healing and guidance during some very challenging times of cocooning.

I want to tell you a story that is relative to what is happening all around me with the growing mental health crisis I am witnessing before my eyes. I hope it will shed light for someone who needs it.

The year is 2005. I don’t always have a smile on my face.  Some days are just darn right difficult.

I say bad things about myself. I sabotage my efforts and tell myself that there must be something wrong with me. I say things from …  “who do you think you are? Are you nuts? No one thinks you have anything to offer.”

To things like “You’re tainted. No one will ever love someone like you and who could blame them after what you been through.”

I developed complex post-traumatic stress disorder as well as traumatic brain injury due to several co-occurring factors including … Domestic abuse, domestic violence by proxy, multiple concussions, car accident, rape etc etc.

I went from buying my first house at 19yo to building a successful business in finance to losing it all to point of homelessness due to an abuse from a man whom I was married to for 9yrs but endured 11yrs of court battery w/ over a $300k legal bill. He hoped it would kill me so he could cash in the life insurance policy. I wasn’t going away and I was not giving up fighting for the safety of my children.

I fought back, becoming a fierce advocate for family court reform in custody cases involving domestic violence. I collected 20 credible cases of severe injustice and gross judicial abuse against one judge.

My naivety thought the TRUTH WILL PREVAIL … I was even contacted by a 20/20 reporter about my work. I thought. “Wow. If this happened, I must be onto something.” So, I pushed harder. At one point I had 12 interns helping me.

Well, when one of my interns pushed too hard to access public information about a judge who was PAID by certain groups to help incarcerated abusers gain custody, I suddenly had a target on my back and suddenly thrown into prison shortly there after.

PTSD is a fucked-up thing.

Do you know what was WORSE than that which I endured?

Good people … Every day neighbors, so called friends, etc who did the unthinkable … who judged and shamed me vs the abuser. They turned a blind eye. I am sure if I were someone famous or someone in a position of power, I would have been treated differently.

What I could not understand is WHY “good people” could easily ignore and turn a blind eye to the astounding fact of 58,000 American children being legally trafficked to abusers and pedophiles EVERY year was staggering to me.

It was the mindset that if it wasn’t their kid, who cares.

In the domestic violence world, we call this “bystander abuse”

I was trying to make a difference in this world especially for those without a voice, and I failed. I failed my children and I failed all the US children being abused.

In Dec 2014, I stopped doing that work after the MA Supreme Court ruled in favor of a documented abuser to gain custody for financial reasons ignoring the best interest of the child statute.

There is now in 2020 a PENDING Supreme Court Case in Ma to make a history of domestic/child abuse inadmissible as evidence in a custody case. So the systemic abuse and oppression has NOT stopped.

The harder I fought the injustice, the bigger hole I made for myself. So I changed my focus. I shifted to speaking and healing trauma associated with abuse. I felt my efforts were more useful here.

Why am I airing all this out NOW?

Things are different NOW. OR are they?

YOU DECIDE.

That was then, BEFORE I understood WHY I endured such horrors.

Why it has taken me 15yrs to heal and regain my life again.

Why the very year I was supposed to put the last part to my healing journey and recovery into play … buying a house again. Build my business with 2 locations. Travel internationally AGAIN … This year Ireland & Japan …. All came to a screeching halt thanks to the COVID shutdown.

I am sharing this, because I recognize that many people’s reactions to what is currently happening with COVID19 as to how I was then and  as to what I was faced then.

I see things differently from a different lens.

There’s more to “THIS STORY” than the public is told. I have LIVED this level of institutional gaslighting and abuse before.

I am not sharing this to gain sympathy. I’m inviting you to a view what is happening from a DIFFERENT lens.

PLEASE HEAR ME OUT.

I’m seeing a lot of parallels to my experience in 2005 to now. The difference between then and today?

Then … it was targeted towards victims of abuse/rape on average depending on stats 1:3 with higher numbers in BIPOC* communities.

Today EVERYONE is impacted. 100%

Nature doesn’t discriminate.  Humans do.

This pandemic is full of a LOT that I won’t go into at this time outside that we are NOT being given all the facts. I find the current narrative to be highly problematic with visible gaslighting/abuse perpetrated upon the people. Scientists who challenge this narrative have either been discredited or murdered. Freedoms of speech highly censored as ordered by governments and there have been doctors who have committed suicide. There is something happening here that is MORE VIRULENT than COVID19.

Most Americans do not have any frame of reference to calm their fears about the sudden life changes and about dying from THIS infectious virus. Most are not aware of the annual normal deaths associated with cancer, flu, overdoses, nor car accidents. This has created a shock.

I want to focus on the growing contagion of trauma and mental health crisis that is happening that is RARELY addressed or talked about.

I know gaslighting.

I know false narratives.

I know trauma.

I know being silenced.

I know being censored.

I know being discredited by persons in power.

I know the harm & oppression perpetrated by the system.

I know panic.

I know being defensive.

I know chaos.

I know loss.

I know fear.

I know having everything stripped away from you, powerless to act or do anything, knowing I did everything right … the best I could.

I know isolation and helplessness.

I know the “pinch me” factor, wondering if this is all a bad nightmare that I will wake up from.

I know the feeling of questioning what’s real and what’s not.

I know the hypervigilance.

I know the desire to flee.

I know the blame game.

I know the feeling of ‘how am I going to survive’

I know the feeling that I didn’t belong on a planet so cruel.

We are ALL cocooning. Evolving. Changing in ways unseen by the logical minds eye.

The Invitation

I invite you to step out of fear and put our freedoms to work as a sovereign Be-ing. I invite you to make healthy choices and put in place everything we know about how to be healthy and strong in the face of life’s critical moments.

I invite you to be open to another narrative. I invite you to be open and be that curious child.  I challenge you to BE skeptical.  Healthy skepticism is good.

For me, there’s a BIG difference between how I am responding NOW vs THEN.

I spent 15yrs working on myself incessantly healing, purging, letting go, befriending my shadows, looking at the darkness within, finding SOLID credible teachers to help support me … all to heal, let go as well as build a healthy spiritual immunity and resiliency.

I’ve harnessed my super powers to sniff out corruption, gaslighting and abuse when I see it.

I have dared to be brave.

I faced fears.

I questioned the narratives.

I stepped up.

I have worked on improving my language understanding that language has spiritual power – ‘kotodama’.

I have faced my ‘white privilege’ and still do.

I addressed my own toxic infectious colonized mindset and still do.

I have maintained the mindset of a student.

I’ve avoided multiple major surgeries by employing spiritually based integrative holistic health practices.

I got off medication cuz they were no longer needed.

I avoided the need for antibiotics.

I changed my diet naturally without much effort eating things I would normally have found gross like spinach …

My body started to heal.

My mind started to heal.

I learned how to tap into the body’s magical powerful way of healing itself.

I’ve had to learn what self-love looks like.

I had to redefine what safety looks like.

I removed toxic relationships and inserted healthy boundaries with ones I wanted in my life.

If I wanted a different external situation, I needed to work on the internal one FIRST.

I became my own superhero. Is it easy? FUCK NO.

However, today I am pausing.

I pay attention to the inner cues and whispers like clues on a treasure map.

I am reflecting on how far I’ve come and that I am actually alive.

I empathize with all of those who are being highly triggered right now. I’ve been there.

I empathize with all of those who are being hypervigilant right now. I’ve been there.

I empathize with all of those feeling of anger, frustration, and feeling trapped. I know these emotions

I have learned some serious mad skills over the years to help me adjust.

I’m now really realizing how far I have come because of how I am responding to this crisis.

I want to share them with you.

I invite you to learn something different … to learn my “how” to become your own superhero especially during times of crisis.

I extend an invitation into self-discovery learning how to build healthy spiritual immunity and resiliency.

Let me show you.

I’ve invested in you. Will you invest in you?

There is light in the darkness.

There is possibility in times of chaos.

Can you see beyond the chaos?

Can you see beyond the obvious?

Our souls hold the wisdom we seek.

Our souls wait for us to be heard.

There is a way to master the calm within the storm.

I am here.

I’ve spent 15yrs building and acquiring an arsenal of tools to share with those who are ready for THIS medicine that is ministered to the human spirit.

How we look at the world is crucial. The world is as we see it.

This invitation is NOT for those who are already set in their ways and beliefs. I am not trying to convince anyone of anything.

This invitation is for those who are struggling with searching for a new narrative knowing there is a different way but may not know the what or how.

Please join us May 17th while we explore and journey into self discovery over a period of 5 weeks.  Learn how to not only be an empath survivor, but an empath thriver while building a stronger spiritual immunity and resiliency during times of crisis. Click here.

Am I making sense or do I sound like a crazy lady?

Thank you for reading.

Below is a list of resources to help you navigate these changes.

To book a private 1:1 virtual session with me, click here.

With appreciation,

Laura

Spiritual Medium, Healer, Speaker, Writer, Metaphysician, Advocate, Holistic Health Practitioner, Facilitator, Trauma Specialist, Empowerment Specialist and Spiritual Badass.

For more information about classes, click here and our events calendar, click here.

To book a private session, click here.

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*BIPOC = Black Indigenous Persons Of Color

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My Story of Embodying Reiki to Heal Trauma Associated With Abuse

The Back Story

Yesterday I had a pretty deep conversation with a good friend of mine regarding the struggles to survive fleeing an abusive relationship where I lost my sense of self for over 20yrs. This in depth conversation brought to the surface certain pains and traumas from the abuses the victim part of myself would assume to forget.

However, in reflecting about this conversation and previous ones, it got me thinking about my path on where I was, where I am, and where I am going.  I look back now through a different lens amazed how far I have come since I made that crucial decision to leave an abusive partner who displayed narcissist sociopathic tendencies that nearly killed me more than once.  I am happy to say, his wish was not granted, and not literally buried six feet under.

The Healing Journey

I am still here to not only talk about it, but to share bits and pieces of my healing path to reclaiming my power back in hopes to inspire others on their healing journey.

Probably one of the decisions I made early on was to never doubt my gut or intuition again as it tried to warn me of the dangers that lay ahead at that time.  One of the things that saved my life was my connection to spirit followed by the healing path.

I first had to learn how to trust again and have faith in the unknown which is not simple feat when dealing with the after effects of abuse especially “gaslighting”. I had been beaten down physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. So how do I learn to trust again so I can heal?

How Reiki Helped Me

By embracing Reiki in its full embodiment not only helped me regain sense of self, but my sense of purpose. It helped me to heal the past while staying present, and not let my triggers of the past cause worry or fear of the unknown. It was not easy and I still feel I am a work in progress learning, healing, and growing every day.

This process didn’t happen over night, but over the course of 11 years. I had to learn to surrender to the Universe, which is probably the most difficult task in the entire process. The mind/ego wants to shield and protect you from any repeats of what had happened to you in your past. It is like an loop constantly repeating itself that has to be broken in order to heal and move forward in your life.

I knew I could not trust the system, domestic abuse groups, family, community, and the like as the mighty power of a skillful abuser can sway anyone in their favor creating an avalanche of being re-victimized. So if I could not trust people, who could I trust? Well it was spirit after all that tried to save me from this fate and I ignored the signs.  So I went back to my faith knowing I could trust Spirit. That started the surrendering process leading into my healing.

I started with meditation and started going to church again rediscovering myself in the process. The more I learned to trust in the divine, the more healing took place in my life, which led me down the reiki path. Receiving reiki and learning reiki was the single most best decision I made for myself as it not only changed my life, it saved my life.

However, what I have learned over the years in studying the various different forms of Reiki, is it is not learned in one day as some may believe. I have been learning Reiki now for 11 years and I practice Reiki daily embodying all that Reiki has to offer.

You can not learn that after one class and receive your certificate.  You must master Reiki completely and incorporate it into your life so you can BE REIKI. This process takes years of discipline to develop.

What I wrote in the picture are truly five things you can start to do today that over time will change your life. They stem from the teachings I learned in reiki so I know this to be true. I personally say these in Japanese as a mantra every morning when I wake and every evening when I prepare for sleep. By chanting these precepts, you begin to change the way you see yourself and the world around you.

Moving Forward

This year is the grand year of transformation, a nine year in numerology. It is the year of completion, and I personally look forward to fully and unequivocally shining in my own light at full strength once again. I wrote about the importance of this year in 6 Tips To Guide You Towards Soul-fillment in 2016 if you wish to read more on that topic.

Reiki is more than taking a one day class, receiving a certificate, and laying hands on someone.  I think this is the greatest travesty of misconception of what our Western society believes is important. Reiki is so much more. It is a way of being and a way to self discovery back to soul. Our bodies are designed to heal themselves, so all we have to do is tap into that source energy. Reiki helps facilitate that.  I have been practicing Reiki over a decade now, and even after all this time, I feel like I have so much to still discover about the magic Reiki offers all of us inside and out.

Healing trauma is not easy, but I am so grateful for the system of Reiki and all the teachers I have had along the way to guide me in my spiritual path to healing and self discovery.

For those who are struggling now or feel like you can’t see above water, please keep the faith. I remember days, where I felt like it was the end, and I am not only here, but I am beginning to thrive. You can too.  I am here to help you best I can and so are so many other wonderful reiki healers.

 Tips on Finding a Qualified Practitioner

If you struggle with healing from trauma associated with abuse, here are some tips in choosing a reiki practitioner.
  1. Make sure you find a qualified practitioner who has trauma informed care as part of their training.
  2. Make sure you find a practitioner who has been practicing Reiki for a long time as trauma has its own intricate needs.
  3. Ask questions about the Reiki practitioner’s training and belief system
  4. What system of reiki did they study?
  5. What was included in their studies?
  6. What level of Reiki have they completed?
  7. How long have they been practicing Reiki?
  8. Do they practice reiki every day? (My apologies as many reiki practitioners may disagree,  I feel THIS is the most important question). If they are not practicing reiki every day, how can they possibly understand how to help you? This goes beyond just reiki, but understanding trauma and all its intricate components.
  9. What is their level of experience and training in working with people with trauma?
  10. How many clients have they used Reiki for healing trauma?
  11. Ask how they use Reiki in healing trauma.
This is just a simple guide, but you can also check out the article I wrote on Reiki Can Do No Harm or Can It? for more tips and guidance.

I hope what I wrote helps someone out there in need who needs something to help them survive in order to thrive. Please share the love and compassion.

With love and light,

Laura  Joseph

Healing With Spirit 
Spiritual Medium, Speaker, Healer

To schedule a private session, to book a corporate wellness event, or speaking engagement, please private message me

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 © 2016-2018 Laura Joseph. All Rights Reserved. This information is for general educational uses only. It may not apply to you and your specific medical needs. This information should not be used in place of a visit, call, consultation with or the advice of your physician or health care professional. Communicate promptly with your physician or other health care professional with any health-related questions or concerns. This article does not share the opinions of Healing With Spirit or its affiliates.  Be sure to follow specific instructions given to you by your physician or health care professional.