A Trauma Survivors Election Day Experience 2016 And How To Move Forward

Graphic by Laura Joseph, Healing With Spirit
White Buffalo came to Laura in Jan 2016. 

WOW what a ride this week has been and since the election emotions have been quite high.  I have my own feelings that have come to light this week and I will share them with you shortly. This is a very sensitive subject matter especially for trauma survivors, and my only request is that you read this with an open heart and without judgement.

I am also an empath, so I feel intensely the energies around me and of those people around me whether person to person or virtually. As I write this, I am choosing to honor my own feelings and I am choosing to honor yours as well. 
Before I continue on my experiences after the election, let me share with you my experiences and thoughts on the day of the election and why I felt so paralyzed to vote.   One of my trauma coping mechanisms is journaling.  Here is what I wrote on the day of the election, November 8, 2016, and when I decided to publish it, I chose to keep it as is so you may experience my full experience.
Graphic by Laura Joseph, Healing With Spirit
“I never realized how triggering and paralyzing today’s election was until today when it was time to cast a vote. The governmental abuse, disregard and metaphorical rape of women and children, the narcissistic sociopathic behaviors of our two primary candidates, the disregard for life not to mention threats and intimidation brings back flash backs of the horrors I endured attempting to leave and to protect my children from abuse only to have them legally trafficked by way of family court, and the more I fought trying to grasp at any straw to save them and myself, the more I was threatened and retaliated against and even went to jail.

There is no worse feeling in the world than drowning in a sea of trauma, abuse, lies, and deceit begging for someone to reach out to pull me and my children out only to be met with the mighty oar pushing you back under hoping you just die.

Today’s election and everything it stands for and against, has paralyzed my ability to vote bridging past abuse with political rhetoric that merged as if it became one reality especially when the deepest darkest shadows of America is cracked wide open.

Some of you may say, get over it and move on. After all, it’s been almost 11 yrs since you left your abuser. My head and mind already know that. However, It’s my physical body trapped in fight or flight in its attempt to shield me and protect me from further trauma and abuse screaming inside begging when will it end. When will peace reign on earth, and I no longer have to maintain a fight or flight state which has severely taxed my adrenal glands?It is extremely difficult to engage in exercising my right to vote especially when reports of bullying, insults, and intimidation are becoming the norm. This weekend I realized I still do “avoidance” tactics which is part of trauma response. Today, I realized how bad I still do it. 

The redtail hawk Laura saw on November 8, 2016

As I left my house this morning tearing myself apart for not practicing what I preached paralyzed in fear a redtail hawk swooped out of nowhere flying alongside my truck on Rockland Street until I hit the breaks and he flew to the top of the tree. i pulled over, exercised gratitude, and had a mini animal totem pow wow.The message I received was to take the pressure off myself and to focus on the long term picture not on the short term and to stop being so hard on myself. The hawk is showing me to trust and take flight. I may feel unsupported in the human realm, but to know I am supported in the divine realm.
I guess in one aspect the avoidance has allowed me to heal and move forward, but in another aspect when confronted, it is paralyzing. God help America.”

Photo & Quote by Laura Joseph
Healing With Spirit. All Rights Reserved

I had so much anxiety on the day of the election, it was overwhelming. I felt alone, as the trigger spiraled.  I pulled every tool I knew to cope including meditation, reiki, journaling, crystal, vibrational healing via tibetan medicine singing bowls, walks and communing in nature, and  detachment
When I saw the redtail hawk, I knew it was a sign. Signs from above have been very prominent for me in my healing journey since I had lost faith and trust in humanity. Connecting  with the divine was my lifeline.
Redtail hawks have been a great message bearer for me over the years. They adapt to life well even amongst the human race and are a great service to humanity. The human race has drifted so far away from source, we miss the magic they offer. I was grateful for my divine team and angels for this message.
As I maintained a ping pong match of emotions that day, I decided to go for a walk and was greeted with three crows with a mourning dove perched just above. I smiled and moved forward, and my anxiety began to wane, but not enough to head to the polls and vote. You see for me it was not the idea of voting that was the trigger for me. It was the idea of dealing with something with what I perceived as a corrupt, abusive government and even though in my head, I knew not to fear, my body kept tying to trick me otherwise.
From a spiritual sense, crow is another very powerful message bearer, keeper of the universal sacred laws, and represent magic. They are the harbinger of change in all areas of life; physical, spiritual, mental and emotional. They can aid us in moving between realms of the spirit world and physical life. Crow was a wonderful reminder to create and manifest what I seek. The fact there were three, reminds me how divinely support I am and focuses my attention to my ability to communicate more effectively. Crow announces a newness on the horizon. Are you aware of the nuances in life? Are you listening to signs around you? Crow can give strength and show you how to maneuver in intuitions and insights.
When I saw the mourning dove above the crows, I smiled as it was the solidifier for me in the message. Traditionally, doves are a messenger of peace, love, joy and gentleness, prophecy of good things, maternity instincts, as well as an awakening to promise of future with clarity. In this case, dove was helping me understand my emotions better, and letting me know that hope and peace will come. 
When I woke up on Wednesday, November 9, 2016, I was and was not shocked at the results. I was not shocked, because, I had predicted early spring of Hillary Clinton’s downfall. I however, was fearful of a Trump Presidency and was hoping for a different, maybe more Utopian result. 
I have over come so much in my life. I have chosen to do my best to never judge those who voted a certain way because it is a constitutional right. I choose to not let those choices break up my “tribe”.  

Although, I thought I was much further along in my healing, I am taking a pause. I am holding space and trying to not feed the fear. Instead, I am choosing to allow to feel these emotions. I am allowing to feel the fear. I am talking to the inner child within, who clearly is still wounded, and asking her what will it take to feel safe again so the fear can be released for good this time.

I am BEing mindful how I unleash my emotions on my friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, etc. We all have a choice. If we want change, we must go within first. 

In the end we are all one. Fear begets more fear. Hate begets more hate. Only love can conquer hate and fear. Only love can create peace.
The veil is thin right now. Many truths are being revealed. Our own shadows are surfacing. We’ve been feeling it rise like a cauldron of a volcano for quite a while.

All the answers we seek lie within. So please let’s pause and be mindful of our thoughts, words, posts, actions.

Here’s a quote I love that resonates, and I changed it to create action: “I surrender to what is. I let go of what was and I have faith in what will be.”

Today, I choose to step into the light and BE the beacon.

It’s time we get centered. Breathe … Bring back our power … breathe … feel compassion … breathe …
And breath in Love … breathe … and breathe out fear.

Together let’s radiate love and let it transmute any misqualified energies.

Together, we not only help ourselves, but our brothers and sisters, our fellow struggling American, the rest of the world, Mother Earth etc.

I honor and appreciate each of you.

Let’s create the greatest most contagious virus of Love. Change begins with us. That change is internal.

Here are a few related links for more information

I am here to help.

With Love and appreciation,
Laura  Healing With Spirit

Spiritual Medium, Public Speaker, and Teacher
Usui Reiki Master Teacher
Shihankaku in Jikiden Reiki


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Healing Trauma By Stepping Into Your Power Through The Universal Energies of Change And Forgiveness

What I will be writing about, I am unsure if this is directed to my personal path and journey or if you will find that it will resonate with you.  I would love to hear from you and your feedback as it helps me help you.  I would appreciate that deeply.

So, when you think these spiritual storms we have been riding over the past few months and years have slowed down and we can breathe, we are faced with more storms as we continue to upgrade and change in order to be more in vibrational alignment with source energy and our soul purpose.

Just as you think you can catch your breath, we begin September with more changes ahead with the start of the eclipse season and our third mercury retrograde this year.  

As I am writing this, I am wondering how many of us have surrendered to the Universal energies, let go of the past … karmic in past lives, hurts in this life, and generational karma. We are healing it all if we learn to step aside and allow our soul to guide us and light the way.

This journey has not been easy especially those also healing some form of trauma. With all that I do and practice, I can attest to this struggle as our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies let go and realign.  No one ever said healing was ever easy, but it is worth it. I began to write about my journey healing trauma associated with abuse. One thing I have learned with trauma and PTSD, it loves to reign you in and prevent the healing to commence and will attempt to trick your brain into old outdated patterns or more of the very same you are trying to leave behind you. These patterns of constant fight or flight are there for our safety and protection, but when in overload, it is like keeping your finger in an electrical socket and you can not see, feel, hear, anything else around you never mind inside the self.

Laura administering self healing in
a meditative state in nature in Maine

One of the things I have had to address and face is healing karmic cords with my abuser in this life and in previous lives. This is NOT easy by any stretch. However, each day I am stronger, and remind myself that I AM … FREE … from those karmic bonds that tied me for 20+ years of my life in this life as well as in previous lives. The trauma and PTSD side would like to keep replaying the same story thinking it is protecting me not recognizing my finger has already been removed from that electrical socket.  It takes faith in the unknown and higher power and courage to remove your finger and begin healing.

So for many, the Universe and our souls pushed our buttons hard this year to get us out of our comfort zones, challenged relationships, and forced us to face the things needing change so we may continue to evolve from the caterpillar to the emerging butterfly. For those who have experienced PTSD or some form of trauma, these have been magnified. My question for you to ask yourself is:  “Were you open to change or resistant?” 

When we can have the courage of trying to not control every aspect in our life and face our shadow self, we become awakened.  We begin to embrace and nurture the inner child within allowing us to surrender the ego and the control that the trauma has in our life. 

Laura administering Reiki to a silver
back gorilla at the San Diego Zoo 2016

In order to get there, we must look at the two greatest emotions that drive us.  The themes of love and fear continue to the surface for review. I know for me this was a big one, because, my abuser kept me captive paralyzed in fear and stripping me my sense of self and gaslighted me to believe I was better off dead.

So relearning to trust in myself and know that I was worthy of love took many years of healing and lots of work. Slowly I regained my sense of self through self love and self compassion. What helped me initiate the process was my Spiritualist faith, reiki, and meditation practice.

If we are in a state of fear, how can we love? AND vice versa, if we are in a state of love, how can we fear? Learning the art of detachment from people, places, things and especially outcomes have also surfaced to allow for more soul growth. Whenever I see myself reliving fear or something I thought I healed or resolved or let go of from my past, I do the following:

  1. I acknowledge its presence
  2. I thank the Universe for bringing it to my attention so I may learn how to release this
  3. I create intentions and call upon my spiritual team to assist me. Depending on the issue, this may be my ascended reiki masters to Archangel Michael to Saint Germaine. You can create your team to assist you and call upon them. They will not intervene unless you ask for their assistance.
  4. I allow myself to receive love from the divine presence.
  5. I practice one or a combination of the modalities I have been studying over the years. This may be a violent flame meditation, to tibetan singing bowls, to reiki, to a meditative walk in nature or the like.
  6. I practice self love, self worth, self compassion, and self forgiveness.
  7. I adopt the pace of nature understanding that my healing happens not when I try to control its outcome, but when I have done the work and my frequency and vibration are in alignment with my intentions.
  8. Because of the trauma I endured, I did not trust people, organizations, or those in power who were supposed to uphold the law and protect me from abuse. So I built a relationship with the divine and nature. For those who follow me on Instagram or Facebook, see my posts of all the divine messages and confirmations from nature I receive almost daily and sometimes numerous times a day. It always brings a smile on my face.
  9. When appropriate, I seek help from other holistic practitioners.

 

As transition, I have been hearing messages addressing the theme of “forgiveness” as additional themes over the past week or so. So along with fear and love, forgiveness also seems to be playing a role especially for those trying to reclaim their power.

Last week, I posted a general message card to my Instagram and Facebook page where I talked about forgiveness. I saw this message as confirmation to what I am writing about here and I smiled. When I pulled the card, my shoulders suddenly relaxed, and I felt a huge a sigh.

Forgiveness is significant. All the work we have done so far is to prepare us for the hardest task … forgiveness.

If you are holding onto the pain or trauma or hurt someone may have caused you, the misconception is that forgiveness lets that person off the hook while you suffer. It does not. What happened to you is now in the past. What we do to ourselves as a result of trauma, is we keep the traumatic event or series of traumatic events alive and well in the present … the now. I have been trying to understand why we do this to ourselves and why do we imprison ourselves with very few answers. I believe a shift in perception allows us to see that when all we are doing is creating a pattern of self-destruction and self-imprisonment, then we can then implement change.

What forgiveness does is free ourselves from the chains that bind us. This in turn allows our hearts to receive self-love. We can not truly love another until we have fully learned this. I see this to be so true more than ever before now.

I am envisioning many of you who have experienced what many would call such egregious atrocious and unforgivable acts saying things like, “Why on earth would I forgive?”. We must let go of the need to control and need to be right and stay in the familiar. Being right usually does not change the outcome except create a prison stealing our lives. All this does is tie us to the story of the past, poisoning our present, and stealing our future.

Learning to forgive frees us. Wow, right now as I re-read that statement, I am envisioning the mighty power of hawk with a strap to it’s talon caught up in a tree stealing its flight, it’s ability to thrive and survive and ability to soar to great heights.  Then, finally the hawk is snapping the strap breaking free from the tangled mess in the tree and lifting it up letting go of those burdens where it can now soar the skies once again and not only survive, but thrive.

Learning to forgive is one of our greatest spiritual lessons to truly understand. We have had lots of lessons, and transformations this year. The hardest person to forgive, but the most important is “self”. The Universe is calling on us once again. We have been given signs whether you are attuned and seeing them or not is irrelevant. There are those who have been called to help those who can not see.

It’s time to forgive and write a new chapter.

Free yourself from the past, past hurts, past mistakes, past traumas or the like.

So for the coming month, the eclipse season and mercury retrograde will be what we choose to perceive it to be. This is a very transformative time, and we can use these energies to help us in our path if we learn to work with them versus fight them. For once, try to master riding these waves of change and see the world from a whole new perspective. We can not control the size, shape, and velocity of the waves that come ashore. So why do we try to control the waves of life? It is time we learned to ride the waves and have fun learning to surf. Wow, I what a shift right there. Wouldn’t you agree? Did you feel that?  I wrote about this last month in my post “Understanding the Cosmic Shifts”.

And since I have been writing about trauma, this is a grand time, to let the Universe help you right here, right now, in removing any and all obstacles from our mind and body so we may live a healthier and happier life. By the way, health is another theme arising too. So take time to listen to what the body tells you as it speaks to you 24/7. It is up to us whether or not we are listening.

The future is a blank slate. This is an opportunity to truly break free from those chains that bind you.
Are you willing? Are you ready?

The future is yours.

Please check out my January post 6 Tips Towards Soul-Fillment in 2016 and my April post on What You Need To Know About The Current Energies and Tips To Guide You to help guide you in your path.

In the meantime, have a beautiful day. I am here to help you in your journey. Enjoy.

 

With light, love, and appreciation,

Laura
Healing With Spirit 
Spiritual MediumSpeakerHealer

To schedule a private session, to book a corporate wellness event, or speaking engagement, please private message me

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 © 2015-2018 Laura Joseph. All Rights Reserved. This information is for general educational uses only. It may not apply to you and your specific medical needs. This information should not be used in place of a visit, call, consultation with or the advice of your physician or health care professional. Communicate promptly with your physician or other health care professional with any health-related questions or concerns. This article does not share the opinions of Healing With Spirit or its affiliates.  Be sure to follow specific instructions given to you by your physician or health care professional.

My Story of Embodying Reiki to Heal Trauma Associated With Abuse

The Back Story

Yesterday I had a pretty deep conversation with a good friend of mine regarding the struggles to survive fleeing an abusive relationship where I lost my sense of self for over 20yrs. This in depth conversation brought to the surface certain pains and traumas from the abuses the victim part of myself would assume to forget.

However, in reflecting about this conversation and previous ones, it got me thinking about my path on where I was, where I am, and where I am going.  I look back now through a different lens amazed how far I have come since I made that crucial decision to leave an abusive partner who displayed narcissist sociopathic tendencies that nearly killed me more than once.  I am happy to say, his wish was not granted, and not literally buried six feet under.

The Healing Journey

I am still here to not only talk about it, but to share bits and pieces of my healing path to reclaiming my power back in hopes to inspire others on their healing journey.

Probably one of the decisions I made early on was to never doubt my gut or intuition again as it tried to warn me of the dangers that lay ahead at that time.  One of the things that saved my life was my connection to spirit followed by the healing path.

I first had to learn how to trust again and have faith in the unknown which is not simple feat when dealing with the after effects of abuse especially “gaslighting”. I had been beaten down physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. So how do I learn to trust again so I can heal?

How Reiki Helped Me

By embracing Reiki in its full embodiment not only helped me regain sense of self, but my sense of purpose. It helped me to heal the past while staying present, and not let my triggers of the past cause worry or fear of the unknown. It was not easy and I still feel I am a work in progress learning, healing, and growing every day.

This process didn’t happen over night, but over the course of 11 years. I had to learn to surrender to the Universe, which is probably the most difficult task in the entire process. The mind/ego wants to shield and protect you from any repeats of what had happened to you in your past. It is like an loop constantly repeating itself that has to be broken in order to heal and move forward in your life.

I knew I could not trust the system, domestic abuse groups, family, community, and the like as the mighty power of a skillful abuser can sway anyone in their favor creating an avalanche of being re-victimized. So if I could not trust people, who could I trust? Well it was spirit after all that tried to save me from this fate and I ignored the signs.  So I went back to my faith knowing I could trust Spirit. That started the surrendering process leading into my healing.

I started with meditation and started going to church again rediscovering myself in the process. The more I learned to trust in the divine, the more healing took place in my life, which led me down the reiki path. Receiving reiki and learning reiki was the single most best decision I made for myself as it not only changed my life, it saved my life.

However, what I have learned over the years in studying the various different forms of Reiki, is it is not learned in one day as some may believe. I have been learning Reiki now for 11 years and I practice Reiki daily embodying all that Reiki has to offer.

You can not learn that after one class and receive your certificate.  You must master Reiki completely and incorporate it into your life so you can BE REIKI. This process takes years of discipline to develop.

What I wrote in the picture are truly five things you can start to do today that over time will change your life. They stem from the teachings I learned in reiki so I know this to be true. I personally say these in Japanese as a mantra every morning when I wake and every evening when I prepare for sleep. By chanting these precepts, you begin to change the way you see yourself and the world around you.

Moving Forward

This year is the grand year of transformation, a nine year in numerology. It is the year of completion, and I personally look forward to fully and unequivocally shining in my own light at full strength once again. I wrote about the importance of this year in 6 Tips To Guide You Towards Soul-fillment in 2016 if you wish to read more on that topic.

Reiki is more than taking a one day class, receiving a certificate, and laying hands on someone.  I think this is the greatest travesty of misconception of what our Western society believes is important. Reiki is so much more. It is a way of being and a way to self discovery back to soul. Our bodies are designed to heal themselves, so all we have to do is tap into that source energy. Reiki helps facilitate that.  I have been practicing Reiki over a decade now, and even after all this time, I feel like I have so much to still discover about the magic Reiki offers all of us inside and out.

Healing trauma is not easy, but I am so grateful for the system of Reiki and all the teachers I have had along the way to guide me in my spiritual path to healing and self discovery.

For those who are struggling now or feel like you can’t see above water, please keep the faith. I remember days, where I felt like it was the end, and I am not only here, but I am beginning to thrive. You can too.  I am here to help you best I can and so are so many other wonderful reiki healers.

 Tips on Finding a Qualified Practitioner

If you struggle with healing from trauma associated with abuse, here are some tips in choosing a reiki practitioner.
  1. Make sure you find a qualified practitioner who has trauma informed care as part of their training.
  2. Make sure you find a practitioner who has been practicing Reiki for a long time as trauma has its own intricate needs.
  3. Ask questions about the Reiki practitioner’s training and belief system
  4. What system of reiki did they study?
  5. What was included in their studies?
  6. What level of Reiki have they completed?
  7. How long have they been practicing Reiki?
  8. Do they practice reiki every day? (My apologies as many reiki practitioners may disagree,  I feel THIS is the most important question). If they are not practicing reiki every day, how can they possibly understand how to help you? This goes beyond just reiki, but understanding trauma and all its intricate components.
  9. What is their level of experience and training in working with people with trauma?
  10. How many clients have they used Reiki for healing trauma?
  11. Ask how they use Reiki in healing trauma.
This is just a simple guide, but you can also check out the article I wrote on Reiki Can Do No Harm or Can It? for more tips and guidance.

I hope what I wrote helps someone out there in need who needs something to help them survive in order to thrive. Please share the love and compassion.

With love and light,

Laura  Joseph

Healing With Spirit 
Spiritual MediumSpeakerHealer

To schedule a private session, to book a corporate wellness event, or speaking engagement, please private message me

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 © 2016-2018 Laura Joseph. All Rights Reserved. This information is for general educational uses only. It may not apply to you and your specific medical needs. This information should not be used in place of a visit, call, consultation with or the advice of your physician or health care professional. Communicate promptly with your physician or other health care professional with any health-related questions or concerns. This article does not share the opinions of Healing With Spirit or its affiliates.  Be sure to follow specific instructions given to you by your physician or health care professional.